Getaway Smakk con't

And when I get home from this "couple weekend", I must purchase one of these - The Octabong. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Clause...

Getaway Smakk
That time of the year has come around once again where the Bunny & I are doing the "couple weekend". Not to be confused with "couples weekend" where we all go somewhere in our pairs - Bunny & I, Wu & Linds, Sosa & Jenny, Loops & Gwedo, Dirty D & Random of the night...
No, this is the weekend that is exclusive to the Bunny & I. No crew, no party, no group drinking games (1 on 1 is still allowed), no world wars, no fun...(kidding). This weekend the Bunny & I will stumble through the streets of A-town as a pair, leaving the Rontourage to empty the liquor supply of Big D without us. I'm sure I will be getting minute by minute updates via text from Loops & Wu throughout their drunken adventures.
So I leave my crew with these wise words for the weekend from the great George Burns - "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." Aloha all...

SA Smakk
Just got back from the big city of San Antonio last night. What's up with the popularity of the "River Walk"? They need to rename it the Sewer Walk. Like I really want to sit out sipping on margs and cerveza on the patio in that stench. And I love the river taxi guy's comments, "The water is actually crystal clear. It's just the reflection of the bottom of the canal that gives it that dark greenish brown coloring." Crystal clear? Are you kidding me? Clear is the color of my piss every night around 10pm after my pint of Captain. That water looks the crapping grounds for a tribe of cannibal leprechauns with spastic colons.
And what about the Alamo? No wonder they had trouble defending that place. The freakin' walls are about 4' feet tall. Were the fuckin' Mexican soldiers charging the fort on their knees? I could kick a guy in the nuts who was standing behind that fortress wall. Jeez...

Beast Smakk
I'm out on the patio at Club 6850 yesterday just laying back in a lounge chair petting Carrot when I hear this ominous buzzing beside me. I'm thinking a giant bee or something is about to strike me when I turn to look and about 2 feet from my skull, the beast was staring me right in the eyes. It just kept looking right at me with those ice-cold darting eyes baring down on my soul, shivering me all the way to the spine. I knew this monstorous spawn of satan was seconds from attacking me, so I lept to my feet leaving poor Carrot to fend for himself against the great beast. But the attack never came and the monster went his own way but only after he flashed another deadly glance at me as to say, "One day soon we meet again, my prey." Damn that Hummingbird....

Hint Smakk
Coversation between the Bunny & I while at Octoberfest in Addison on Saturday night:
Smakk - "I'm surprised you haven't needed to go to the bathroom yet after drinking all these beers tonight."
Bunny - "I'm probably still dehydrated from my 15 mile run this morning. I don't need to go yet."
Smakk - "Well I didn't run 15 miles this morning."
Bunny - "So you ready for another beer?"
Smakk - "Ummm, I didn't run this morning. So I'm probably not dehydrated. And I've drank all these beers."
Bunny - "Let's go over and check out the rides."
Smakk - "Ummm, I'm surprised you haven't needed to pee after all these beers that we BOTH have had."
Bunny - "I told you I'm probably dehydrated from my run. I don't need to pee."
Smakk - "Well I DIDN'T run this morning. I'm NOT dehydrated."
Bunny - "Oh look! They have Kettle Corn. Let's get some."
Smakk - "Ughhhh. I have to pee."
Bunny - "You do? Why didn't you say something to me?"

I thought Bunnies are supposed to be quick....