Ex Smakk
9pm on sat night. Just got back from Shreve about $1k down. Weekend sucked. A lot my fault but hell - that's life with Smakk. The word "Ex" has been on my mind a lot. Texas Exes still celebrating the UT win. Exes reading my blog. XXX's on dvds hard to find inside the city limits. Exes fucking up my credit. Exes able to dodge my car while walking their dog in my neighborhood. It can all be so "ex"crutiating sometimes. Not often too "ex"citing. Sometimes it all just wants me to "ex"crement up. Oh well, "ex"cuse my abscence. Carrot is in charge the next couple of days while I'm out in So Cal. "Ex"pect to hear from him... OUT.

Hiatus Smakk
So Smakk Talk will be down for about a week as I get in some traveling time. Hitting the Shreve tomorrow for a little work for me and a lot of gambling with the crew. Returning back to Big D on Sat night to turn around and fly out to So Cal on Sunday for a lot of work and maybe a little gambling. Then back in Big D on next Thursday, only to head out on Friday to San Antonio for very little work and a lot of Riverwalk dinking and playing time with the bunny. Should make it back to big D on Superbowl Sunday a couple hours before kick off and already a couple drinks down for the big game extravaganza. So I know it will be hard for you to all to find a daily work distraction in place of Smakk talk so here are some fine smakk approved time wasters:

The Phat Phree

The Onion

Tard Blog

I am Bored

Later all....

Sayings Smakk
The new and vintage sayings I'm trying to work into my everyday conversations:
Have it Uruguay
Fack the buck up
Have a little step in your giddy-up?
Trip the light fantastic
No whammies!
*verb* Up (i.e. Turd Up, Suit Up, Shreve Up)
Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor.
Is this going to be a long story?
Let's just get through the weekend.
I've been drinking ALOT.
A legend in his own mind.
As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.
You! Off my planet.
Penguins. The new gnomes.

Movie Out Smakk
So yesterday, the bunny and I decide to go see Walk The Line since it’s a shitty, rainy Sunday afternoon. First thing we have to load up the supplies. She’s smuggling in conversation hearts, heresy kisses and a snickers bar in her pants while my jeans are falling off from the weight of the two full flasks of Captain. So after decoding the damn Ticket/ATM machine to avoid the regular line, we wait in line at the concession stand being manned by the short bus drop offs. After I finally receive my diet coke which is slightly larger than my skull (of course you get free refills on the large but I wasn’t trying to put out any brush fires that day), I proceed immediately to the head to empty my flask in the privacy of the stall. I first have to pour out some of the diet in the toilet to make room for el capitan which makes it sound like I’m pissing by the bucket. After the drink is made, the bunny and I head to seats where we have to sit on the end since I know we will be making at least one more trip to the bathroom. I then slide over flask number two to bunny where she pours about a millimeter at a time in her diet because the screen keeps lighting up her seat like a spotlight. We finally get her drink made but almost lose the whole thing during a scary movie preview when some 300 lb whale in solid black starts to sits down behind her and bunny thinks she’s being attacked. So we make it through the previews, only have one bathroom visit each during the main feature, eat our smuggled candy, drain both the movie cocktails, and end up seeing a pretty good flick. I just wish the TV cameras could have been there for bunny’s first line review upon our exit, “I really liked it. And I’ve also got a great freakin’ buzz.”