Slow Down Smakk
I decided after Vegas I needed to take a little time off from the party schedule and slow down for the week for a little recovery time. As well, my eating habits have sucked and the gym has been a distant memory. So this week the focus was reduced drinking, healthy eating and hitting the weights everyday So here's how that went:
Monday - jalapeño poppers and the stiffest drinks in big D at the Loon with Lap, Flake and Stalker; no workout
Tuesday - more jalapeno poppers accompanied with fried shrimp and oysters with Lap & Flake at Hook, Line & Sinker (Flake's car was still at my place from Loon night) then drank till 2am watching all TIVO'd Real World and Punk'd episodes; no workout
Wednesday - Buffalo Wild Wings for 50 cent drum night and draft beer with Nicki & Gwedo; no workout
Thursday - Champps happy hour for fried calamari and Sex With An Alligator shots, and off Sherlocks ARL for pitchers of beer; no workout
Now the Friday plan for tonight - Chammps happy hour, pre-jam at Club 1407 and Manhattan Bar to close it out. Probably 3am cab run to Taco Bell as well. Workout? What do you think?
Well there's always next week...

High School Smakk
I was watching the Jon Cryer movie, Hiding Out, this morning as I was trying to work out may latest hangover. For those that don't know this one, Cryer plays a mob accountant that poses as a high school student to avoid being killed. Funny thing is that I always have this recurring dream that I have to return back to high school because I never took a certain class that was required to graduate. How fun would it be to go back to school knowing everything we do now? Besides being able to talk down to teachers and administrators, it would be so fun to manipulate these teenagers. I have decided I need to actually do this so I have been researching intensely through the two best sources I have found – Laguna Beach & Degrassi High. I’m sure you all know Laguna (I love you LC and Kristen) but probably not as familiar with Degrassi. This is the Canadian teen soap that comes on the Noggin every night and this show rocks. The kids are normal looking, not all OC’d out, and they talk about some real stuff. I’m watching it last night and they’re talking about giving blow jobs for popularity, hooking up with teachers, etc. I thought the Noggin was part of Nickelodeon but I’m not complaining. Anyway – look for me soon at a high school near you. Guess I need to shave off the beard.

Age Smakk
I just don’t get the logic that goes into the age restriction on drinking. I mean how can you legally restrict drinking to 21 years and older when at 18 you are a legal adult. You can vote, be drafted, drive a car, have a job, be married, be a parent, etc. That is complete bullshit that you can do all that but not buy a beer. (On a related note, I found this Legal Age of Consent site very helpful. Ahhh - one more year for the Sundown Twins.) So because I’m too lazy to actually rally to change this law, I will just start my own underground movement to buy alcohol for any persons under the age of 21. For those girls that fall between 18-21, I will not only buy the alcohol but as well help them consume as much as possible while in my presence. Yes, my nomination for sainthood should be coming shortly.

Stalking Smakk
Is stalking a good way to chase bunnies? Last night I went out and had some drinks at TABC and the Loon with my girl buddies, Lap & Flake. (On the name explanations - Lap because she can lap anybody in drinking Dos XX & Flake because she almost never makes it past midnight and flakes on the plans.) So a couple weeks ago I went out with Flake and she proceeds to tell me the story of this stalker guy after her. She tells me about how he’s a nice guy but he’s always calling, texting, stopping by, etc. Just won't except her rejection. I, of course, am very used to this happening to me.
Well, all I can say is that last night Stalker shows up and Flake and him starting cuddling in the booth like they have been a couple forever. Now there is a chance that Flake was blowing smoke up my ass with this whole stalker story for some other devious reason (she only appears innocent) but I prefer to hope that stalking is effective in bunny snaring. So I need some help. If anyone has the phone or address of any of the following people, please contact me:
Natalie Portman
Kate Beckingsale
Melinda from Real World Austin
LC or Kristin from Laguna Beach
The brunette at the top of the Yahoo Mail banner
The red head at Palm Beach Tan in Las Colinas
The Sundown twins (wait – they’re still 16. I’ll set up a countdown clock later.)

Anyway, send me the info and let the stalking begin. I would share some stories on Lap as well, but that would probably need it's own website.

FWB Smakk
I recently had the “friends with benefits” conversation with a friend of mine. (Yes, I’m sure you would like to know which my friend girls I was talking to…but I will only share that after the pictures are developed.) So we got into the discussion about the pro’s and con’s surrounding this arrangement.
So let’s start with the benefits - sex with no strings attached. Discussion over - we have a winner. Obviously this seems a no-brainer but I guess will go ahead and talk about the possible problems. From my experience with this, one of two things happens usually with the FWB set-up. First, one of the friends actually gets attached and the other doesn’t which ends up fucking up the friendship also. Second, its going good till one of the friends actually meets someone they want to start dating. Then the other gets pissed and jealous, and once again the friendship gets fucked up. For example, one of my best FWB experiences was going great until I got into a serious relationship with her sister. But that’s another story.
In saying all this I still highly recommend going for the FWB. You can always make more friends, but sex with no strings attached – come on. Like I said, a no-brainer.
Oh – and a new poll for you on the side.