What The F*** Smakk
Let your nightmares begin...


Top five evil animal flicks:
5. Orca
4. Cujo
3. The Birds
2. Jurassic Park
1. Jaws

Poll Smakk
At the request of LoopsMVP, I have added an updated poll on the right. In 30 days from today, Club 1407 will be closing the doors. Carrot, my bar & I will be looking for a new home.

Bikini Smakk

So I’m interviewing a girl today to work in a new office that I’m opening where she will be the office coordinator and my assistant. About two minutes into the interview she asks, ”Is any weekend work involved because I also have a part-time job?”
I reply, “No. Just Monday through Friday. What’s your other job?”
“Oh, on weekends I do bikini modeling at shows and events.”
“Welcome. Here’s your new hire package.”

Top five beach bikini movies:
5. How to Stuff A Wild Bikini
4. Blue Crush
3. Hardbodies
2. Spring Break
1. The Real Cancun

Super Sunday Smakk
Congrats to the Steelers on their big day. Not a very exciting game but there were a few bright spots in the commercials. These were my top 10 ads for the night:
10. Budweiser – stadium wave to fill and drink glass of beer
9. Burger King – The Whopperettes
8. Budweiser – baby Clydesdale pulling the wagon
7. Diet Pepsi – Jackie Chan and stunt stand in of Diet Coke can
6. Bud Light – bear attack
5. Ameriquest – killing fly with electro shock pads
4. Bud Light – all praise the magic fridge
3. Fed Ex – caveman and dinosaur delivery
2. Budweiser – streaking sheep
1. Sprint – cell phone as crime deterrent – Classic!
So besides these small highlights, the most exciting part of the night was waking up to the spilled vodka soda in my lap. Damn that was cold…

Before I go, I do have to talk about one other great event on Sunday. While waiting in line at the airport in SA, my bunny decides to take a little rest and sit down on her carry-on roller bag. She then stretches out her leg to try and get a dropped piece of paper with her foot and WHAM. Her bag slides out from under her and she busts right on her ass in front of about 100 people. I would have tried to help her back up if I was not also on the ground rolling in laughter. It was absolute greatness!

And by request, I have been asked to bring back my top five movie theme. So, the top five movies about football:
5. All The Right Moves
4. Friday Night Lights
3. North Dallas Forty
2. The Longest Yard (1974)
1. Rudy