TGIF Smakk
Friday is here - time to get my drink on. There's something just so magical about the end of the work week. Just knowing what I have to look forward to over the next few days. Many things come to mind for me:
- Knowing you have a 72 hour bender coming on before you have to start faking sobriety at work again
- Meeting new people out that you know you will never remember again
- Waking up with one of those new friends beside you in the morning and wishing you will never remember them again
- Playing the "How-did-I-get-that-bruise?" Game
- Realizing that IHOP waitresses can even be cute at 4am
- Prayer session and promise of redemption to the base of the toliet
- Reminiscing over the photographs of places I've never been even though I'm in every picture
- The Shocker
- Less weight on my lower back with my wallet empty
Just a few for now. I'm sure there are many more I'll forget again by the time Monday rolls around.
Top five movies with drawfs (short post - short people in movies):
5. Jackass the Movie
4. Wizard of Oz
3. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
2. Elf
1. Lord of the Rings (all 3)

New Reality Show Smakk
This is the true story of seven alcoholics, picked to drink all day and have their lives taped, and find out what happens when people stop being sober and start getting REAL DRUNK. The Real Drunk Real World!
So the first episode will be taking place this Saturday at the Greenville Ave St. Patty’s Day Parade. Since drinking will probably commence around 9am, this should prove as a great inaugural episode. Unfortunately one of our characters, Scotty D (still pondering what his new nickname will be) will not make an appearance on the show until we visit our Phoenix locale in April. We intend to make this show very educational so future episodes are sure to include the following topics:
- Art of Cockblocking
- Mute Sign Language Demonstrations
- Passing & Failing Roadside Sobriety Tests
- How to Get $400 Bar Tab in One Setting
- Every Waitress is Really Named Stacy
- Crop Dusting – The Perfect Pick-Up Line
- Giving the “Eye”
- Beer Goggling Made Easy
- White Boy Shuffle
- Impregnating Work Peers
- Hoobastank, Not Just a Band Name

Top five films about reality or game shows:
5. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
4. Ed TV
3. Quiz Show
2. SFW
1. The Truman Show

New Reality Show Smakk
This is the true story of seven alcoholics, picked to drink all day and have their lives taped, and find out what happens when people stop being sober and start getting REAL DRUNK. The Real Drunk Real World!
So the first episode will be taking place this Saturday at the Greenville Ave St. Patty’s Day Parade. Since drinking will probably commence around 9am, this should prove as a great inaugural episode. Unfortunately one of our characters, Scotty D (still pondering what his new nickname will be) will not make an appearance on the show until we visit our Phoenix locale in April. We intend to make this show very educational so future episodes are sure to include the following topics:
- Art of Cockblocking
- Mute Sign Language Demonstrations
- Passing & Failing Roadside Sobriety Tests
- How to Get $400 Bar Tab in One Setting
- Every Waitress is Really Named Stacy
- Crop Dusting – The Perfect Pick-Up Line
- Giving the “Eye”
- Beer Goggling Made Easy
- White Boy Shuffle
- Impregnating Work Peers
- Hoobastank, Not Just a Band Name

Top five films about reality or game shows:
5. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
4. Ed TV
3. Quiz Show
2. SFW
1. The Truman Show

New Reality Show Smakk
This is the true story of seven alcoholics, picked to drink all day and have their lives taped, and find out what happens when people stop being sober and start getting REAL DRUNK. The Real Drunk Real World!
So the first episode will be taking place this Saturday at the Greenville Ave St. Patty’s Day Parade. Since drinking will probably commence around 9am, this should prove as a great inaugural episode. Unfortunately one of our characters, Scotty D (still pondering what his new nickname will be) will not make an appearance on the show until we visit our Phoenix locale in April. We intend to make this show very educational so future episodes are sure to include the following topics:
- Art of Cockblocking
- Mute Sign Language Demonstrations
- Passing & Failing Roadside Sobriety Tests
- How to Get $400 Bar Tab in One Setting
- Every Waitress is Really Named Stacy
- Crop Dusting – The Perfect Pick-Up Line
- Giving the “Eye”
- Beer Goggling Made Easy
- White Boy Shuffle
- Impregnating Work Peers
- Hoobastank, Not Just a Band Name

Top five films about reality or game shows:
5. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
4. Ed TV
3. Quiz Show
2. SFW
1. The Truman Show

Be Cool Smakk
Went and saw Be Cool last night - great flick. Highly smakk recommended. The return of Chili Palmer was great but The Rock and my boy, Vince Vaughn steal the show. Couple snipets for you:
"Stop hatin', start participatin'. Come on, twinkle twinkle, baby, twinkle twinkle. Wanna take a shot at me kid? Do it."
"I'm just sayin' if that's what this is gonna be, it's gonna be that."
So go get you Cool on and tell them that Smakk sent ya.
Top five other Travolta flicks:
5. Get Shorty
4. Saturday Night Fever
3. Urban Cowboy
2. Grease
1. Pulp Fiction

Worst five Travolta flicks:
5. Stayin' Alive
4. Two of A Kind
3. The Experts
2. Look Who's Talking Now
1. Battleship Earth

But he'll still always be the Boy in the Bubble in my heart.

New Job Smakk
Been thinking it’s about time for me to look into a possible career change. Some of the positions (please keep your mind out of the gutter – that’s my job) I been considering that truly reflect my skill sets:
PA Announcer at School for the Deaf
Casting Agent for Animated Films
Crop duster (Crop Dusters Spray Better!)
Swim Instructor at School for Paraplegics (my best swimmer is Bob)
Librarian at School for the Blind
Commercial Airship Pilot (like the Goodyear or Monster blimp)
Recruiter for certain restaurant chains (Hooters, Bone Daddy’s, etc…)

Top five films about sticking it to the man at work (no, I’m not talking about gay porn):
5. Nine to Five
4. Take This Job and Shove It
3. Norma Rae
2. Roger & Me
1. Office Space