Smakk Talk

why just talk if you can talk smakk

Friday, June 23, 2006

Dirk Smakk

Now this explains a lot about the championship loss. And I thought Germans could hold down their beer. Thanks to Big Wu for the pic.
Have a good weekend all. I know that I will..staring in about 2 hours.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

So Close Smakk
It is so close to the weekend. One more drive out to the big city of Athens, TX tomorrow and then it will be time to set sail with the Captain. Looks like the weekend will have some golf, some pool party action at Dirty D's, maybe a little boat adventure...who knows? One thing for sure is that the Captain and I will be hanging out. Oh, and maybe bring along the Bunny for a little decoration. (Why do I feel a nose bleed coming?)
And on another note, TV has finally reached the bottom and it's called America's Got Talent. I honestly think my TIVO may have committed suicide after I made it record this. And I am old enough to remember this show when it was on 20+ yrs ago. It was called The Gong Show. And it sucked back then too...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Running Smakk
How can you actually like getting up earlier in the morning to go running? Like I don't need as much sleep as possible to let the alcohol wear off. And I can't tell you how fun it is if you forget to take your Ipod Nano with you. I was like, "Holy shit! Is that my breathing?" I sounded like an asthmatic chain smoker making obscene phone calls. The Bunny is like, "We should run together so we can talk while we run." Talk while we run? I'm already panting so bad I'm afraid I'm going to scrape my toungue on the freakin' sidewalk.
And I really love that when she leaves out in the morning for her run - I get up, change into running gear, stretch out, make my run, walk Carrot around the block, stretch again, turd up, take a shower, axe and product up, get dressed. That's about the time she walks in from her run. Trying to see if I can always squeeze in a couple other chores like painting the house or building a pyramid.
And I love comments from her like, "I had a great run. Found some really good hills to go up." Jesus. I start to panic when I'm jogging along and I see a speed bump coming up in the parking lot.
Anyway - will see how long this will last. Did I really say I would run a marathon? Only marathon I see in the immediate future in watching Entourage Season 1 and 2 from the couch with a damn captain in my hand.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Carpet Smakk
When the hell did carpet become so expensive? $8000?? It's freakin' carpet. You walk on it. It's basically substitute dirt. I don't know if I can justify paying the equivalent to buying 400 handles of Captain. That's almost a whole year's supply. I think I'm just going to lay sod inside the new pad instead...
Doggone Smakk
Well at least she wasn't at an adoption agency getting a kid....

ST. PETERS, Missouri (AP) -- A woman angry that her new puppy had died pushed her way into a dog breeder's home and repeatedly hit her on the head with the dead Chihuahua, authorities said.
The 33-year-old woman told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy, it died.
Early Wednesday, the woman went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.
The breeder wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported, citing police.
As the woman drove away, she waved the dead puppy out of the car's sunroof and yelled threats at the breeder, police said. She later called the breeder and threatened her and her family, according to court records.
Police said they are considering felony burglary and misdemeanor assault charges against the woman.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Trend Smakk
I cannot freakin' stand some of the fashion trends or styles going on right now. Some examples of the ones we will look back on as gay dated fads and the ones that will always be classics:
Oversized women's sunglasses - fad (Bunnies look like retarded frogs)
Torn, ripped or worn blue jeans - classic (never go wrong)
Only tucking t-shirt in at belt buckle - fad (I fucking hate this one)
Striped shirt - classic (Striped Shirt)
Trucker or painter cap - fad (Extra asshole points for turning sideways)
Low rise girls jeans - classic (keep em going lower - please)
Retro jerseys - fad (Should acceptable with full blown fro)
The Mullett - CLASSIC (White trash, ugly and a classic!)
Edgefest Smakk
What the hell was I doing at Edgefest yesterday? A better name for it would be Jailbate Slutfest. So Me, Bunny, Shaw B & CodeRed went up to Pizza Hut Park in Frisco yesterday. The Bunny would not let me get into the mosh pit during Drowning Puke...err...Pool's performance. Instead we just stood in the bright white oven they called an arena in 100 degree heat swilling beers while watching The Toadies. At one point I had to launch a search party when Shaw B got seperated from the pack probably distracted by some 17yr old in a bikini or the soccer mom gone wild flashing her saggy fun bags at the Blue October front guy who was wearing a nice cooling full black tux on stage. Jesus dude - aren't you from Texas? It's the freakin' summer.
Anyway, we survived and headed back to the Cage where Bunny and Code Red were passed out before 9pm. Shaw B & I pounded the Captain while watching the Mavs blow another one until we needed to make a midnight run to CVS for more DC and frozen pizza.
And you know it was a good Sunday when I get this text from Shaw B on Monday morning - "Called in sick today. Need a calm day in Bedford." Pussy....