Death Blog

This weekend will be forever remembered for:
- Death to Club 1407
- Death to Smakk's singlehood (again)
- Death to Turd Up Park for Carrot
- Death to Loop's weekend bed/couch
- Death to broken down door frame
- Death to TABC, State Steet Liquor, Uptown Bibbentuckers

Just thank God I was able to pack up the bar. Later Uptown...Hello Addison...

Packing Smakk
Is there really anything that is a bigger pain in the ass than paking up all your useless shit when you move? Last night I proceeded to start packing up Club 1407. hough I was sipping on the Captain a litlle, I think if I had a full blown buzz going it would actually make the process easier. At least that way I would be more willing to just throw away most of this crap instead of moving it every year or so. It's the really random stuff that seemed like a great idea at the time to buy that I'm looking at going, "Am I really taking this with me?" Some of my more favorite items:
A tribe of gnomes
A flock of penguins (better than flock of seagulls)
20 wine & bottle openers
About 200 t-shirts (what the fuck?)
Shot glass checker set
5' foot talking santa
Do I really need all this crap? Oh well. Back to the boxes...

Crutch Smakk

So I hurt my foot yesterday morning while running and the throbbing pain gave me a brilliant idea while driving in to work this morning. I'm going to start keeping a crutch in my car. That way if I get pulled over by the cops after I've been drinking, I can use the crutch and my "hurt foot" as the reason I can't take any of the field sobriety tests. No walking a straight line, no balancing on one foot while counting to 20, no touching my nose with both hands while leaning back. I just amaze myself with my own innnovation when it comes to drinking. You may take your bow to me anytime...

Fat Tuesday Smakk

Normally Fat Tuesday is one of the most important holidays on the Smakk calendar. Unfortunately in the wake of this recent disaster, not Hurricane Katrina but the closing of Club 1407, I'm not sure if tonight will yield any crazy celebrations. Now I might have to make at least an appearance at Hurricane Bar or Dodie's for a few drinks and some boiled crawfish, but I don't see full blown Mardi Gras coming out tonight. Then again, the day is very young...

Weekend Update Smakk
It was actually a pretty calm weekend. No doors kicked in, no partying in 3rd world countries, no one projectile vomitting...but we were still able to have some fun.

Fri - Happy Hour at the Institution doing beer and shots until about 9pm. Then the Bunny & I headed back to Club 1407 for some quiet time.

Sat - Got up at 5:15am to get ready for Bunny's race in Cowtown. Immediately began mass texting Loops, Gwedo & White G since I know they had a late night ripper and were probably hurting. Bunny finished 10th overall in her 10k (Nice!) while I roomed around in the rain making new friends with the other slackers who were not running. Her buddy, OOSheila, finished the 5k in 30 mins flat (Nice also!) and then the three of us headed down to Esmerelda's by the Stockyards for some tasty breakfast grub. After that, Bunny & I headed back to Big D, packed up a cooler and did a little house hunting while working our pre-pre-party buzz for the evening. After a quick stop for a personal pan at Nick & Willy's Pizza (awesome stuff!), we met up with Loops at TABC for a draft before the pre-party at Club 1407. Once White G & Gwedo joined up with the crew, we headed down to Greenville and tore it up all night at Suede.

Sun - Woke up with Bunny in the bed and entire crew on the living room floor. Rallied up to try breakfast at Lucky's. After a half hour of waiting with no table in sight, we walked over to Snookies for early lunch of burgers, fries and onion rings (I actually had the ostrich burger) while sucking down Bloody Marys and Screwdrivers. Then met up with Wu & Lindz at Pappa's Pizza where I believe I had 8-10 frozen Jack & Cokes. We drank away a few hours with bad jukebox, worse stories, and me being double slapped simultaneously by Bunny & Lindz. Though I did perfect the art of flipping a coaster from the table to land perfectly atop a beer mug. After a small diversion to The AAC for a Coldplay ticket scalping adventure with Dre & Tess, it was back to Club 1407 for movie time with Saw 2 and then night night to the weekend.

Gay quote of the weekend:
While watching American Idol on Tivo, Loops interjects, "Everytime I call to vote I always get a busy signal."
Smakk, "Are you fucking kidding me? You actually vote on American Idol. Fag."

And for the announcement of the weekend **drumroll**:
The Impregnator got engaged!!! I was so moved by this happy news that as a wedding gift to the couple, I have decided to become an ordained minister on-line and have offered to perform the wedding service. Father Smakk has such a lovely ring to it. Hmmm...is that thunder I hear all of a sudden?