Why Smakk
Why is that technology in the toilet has not really changed in the past 50 years?
Why do people park their cars outside just so they can have room for all their useless shit in the garage?
Why are you reading this blog instead of working?
Why do I get the same fucking "getting to me" lists from the same fucking people? If I don't know you by now, maybe you can get a fucking hint.
Why am I at the office still after 4:30pm on a Friday? hmmmm...that's a good question. Later all...

Windy Smakk
Jesus it's windy this morning. I'm out doing my 2 mile run this morn, and I look like I'm a fuckin' mime doing the wind tunnel joke. I think I saw 2 small dogs and a small school girl blow by at one point. Reminds me of the time when Dr E, Tessa & I (ok - the ex was in the car too but fuck her) were driving across the Golden Gate Bridge in some type of rented piece of shit death trap and we were sure we were going to get blown right off. Try driving a Yugo across a bridge. Where the wind blows, yu go.
At least its Friday and in a few hours the brain numbing can begin for the weekend. Not too much so far - maybe a litte Saw 3 action tonight with Wu, Lindz and gang. Some golf tomorrow with Loops & LRod. I'm sure some other action will pop up as well but probably won't remember much of it anyway. Later all...I'm off to IHOP.

Ulcer Smakk
So I go to the doc yesterday and he informs me I might have an ulcer. No surprise there - I hear that excessive drinking can lead to that. But did I mention this was my eye doc? Yes, he thinks I might have an ulcer on my eye. Guess having all those drinks thrown in my face over the years may have caused some damage afterall.
Anyway, the doc doesn't exactly make me feel great when he gives me his personal cell in case anything happens through the night before I see him again today. Plus I really like him saying, "Go get this prescript filled now. Wait for them to fill it in the store and put a drop in immediately." Jesus. I flying down the road to CVS thinking my eye is about to explode in the socket. And really like these damn prescript eye drops. Fuck - I might as well rub my fingers in my eye after cutting up a barrel of jalapenos with the way these drops feel.
I made through the night with eye in tack. It still red but since I took a work from day home today I'm not sure if the drops didn't work or I'm just bloodshot from the handle of Captain I tried to finish. Later - I'm off to squirt in some more pepper juice.

Crest Smakk

I'm thinking I need some type of Family Crest or Coat of Arms for the casa. Here's the 1st draft. Just need to figure out how to make the Griffin where he is also holding a handle of Captain. Or maybe kicking down a door. Or driving a golf cart. Or driving a golf cart through the door while holding a handle of Captain...

Geriatric Smakk
What is up with random people coming up to me? I needed a little lighter Sunday after the brutal golf outing on Saturday with Loops & LRod which included a 3 digit round from me and the losing of 2 sleeves of golf balls incuding the shank I sent flying into the kitchen of the new clubhouse at Coyote Ridge. So for Sunday, the Bunny & I decide to hit the country roads and check out some of the more remote lakes in the area since I'm looking to get a weekend getaway casa. (Yes, Club Lake House will be coming soon.) So on the way back to Big D, we decide to stop in the town of Ennis for a little lunch snack and blizzard at the local DQ.
Not more than 5 seconds after I get in the place, some random 106 year dude waddles up next to me. Rumpelstiltskin starts blabbing away asking where I'm from, what do I do for a living, how he used to work for the railroads, blah, blah, blah. But the whole time he's telling the story, he keeps poking me in the gut with a plastic knife. WTF? I feel like I'm in some retarded geriatric version of Friday the 13th. Jesus, I can't wait until I'm that old and can use age as the excuse for my behavior...