Experience Smakk
There are certain mistakes that you can really only truly learn from through experience. Talking about it, being warned about it, thinking about it - no, just actually living through the experience itself can really tell you why that action might have been an error in your ways. So here's a little list of things that each person should do at least once in their life if not for the only reason to understand why not to do that again:
1. Spend a night in jail
2. Play checkers with Jager shots
3. Perform headstands in back on moving van
4. Visit The Loon on a Sunday night
5. Tequila
6. Cheat in a relationship
7. Drunken Text Messages (It is the new drunk dialing)
8. Leave your beer unattended around Wu (see previous "Practical Smakk")
9. Stand on the tables at Duke's when you're a guy (Nice body slam landing Loops)
10. Tell the cops "I've been drinking ALOT tonight officer"
11. Hook-up with roommates
12. Drink a Coyote Ugly football with extra shots while in Vegas
13. Eat the spicy KFC snackers as midnight treat
14. Clog up new boyfriend's toilet on first night staying over (Good job Bunny)
15. Put tray of pizza rolls in oven right before passing out
16. Give Gwedo any girl's phone number out of your own phone
17. Throw guitar up in air over your face while lying down playing it (lips bleed easily)
18. Get in fight with Bunny after handing her full drink (Malibu burns the eyes)
19. Play any drinking or gambling game against me

And my final nugget for today....
20. Try to do a headstand on a tube being pulled by a ski boat only to fall over towards the boat with the ski rope between your legs dragging you through the water by your nut sac

Dead Bird Smakk Update

Practical Smakk
Shout out to Big Wu for pulling the same simple practical joke on both Loops and Beau with great success. Basically while they are not looking, you poke a small hole about a 1/2 inch down in an open can of beer that one of your buddies is drinking. He goes to take a sip and out comes the beer pouring down the front of their shirt and pants.

About two weeks ago, Wu demonstrates this to me while Loops is hacking away on the course. Loops returns to the passenger seat of the cart which I'm driving and proceeds to take a gulp from his Silver Bullet. Out comes a stream of beer dribbling down the front of Loops, shirt. "Jesus," exclaims Loops. "Am I still that drunk from last night that I can't hit my mouth?" After about his third sip and a little advice from me, Loops figures things out as Wu and Troy are bellowing in laughter from their cart in front of us.

Once again demonstrating the staying power of this joke, Wu pokes a hole in Beau's can this weekend while he's lining up his drive. Once again, I get to share in the immediate pleasure of this discovery since I am now riding shotgun in the cart. Beau lifts the drink and "What the fuck?" comes out as he beer pours straight down to water his twig and berries on his formerly dry pants. Luckily, this occured with four holes left to play to give Beau time to dry off, until he drinks out of the same can again and proceeds to let his Johnson swims in more Coors Light. Yes, twice in one beer is a classic!

So props to Big Wu and a warning to any who ride along in my cart...beware the Chinaman.

Pigeon Smakk
60 dead pigeons were found this morning between 6th and 8th Street on Congress Avenue in Austin. Chemical gas attack? Poisoned water? Bird flu? Drunk Steve went crazy with his bb gun? Mass fowl suicide? All of these are still possibilities. I personally don't know what happened but I would just lay off on any all you can eat Chinese buffet specials over the next couple days in the area.