Haiku Smakk
Today Smakk is light
Must get ready for my move
Uptown here I come

Top five recent Asian films:
5. Once Upon A Time in China
4. Goodbye Dragon Inn
3. House of Flying Daggers
2. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
1. Hero

Perfect Smakk
So I'm watching a movie tonight where the guys mention the perfect food for them - White Castle. (And yes - that movie is a Smakk Classic.) Got me thinking about what are the other things that are perfect in life.

Perfect mood - 7th drink buzz
Perfect state - delirium
Perfect picture - Coors Light (damn - thought you said pitcher)
Perfect pitcher - Nolan Ryan (damn - now I've confused myself)
Perfect nolan - just happy to poop (damn - thought you said colon)
Perfect colon - Ferrell (damn - thought you said Collin)
Perfect ferrell - Will (ok - now were straight)
Perfect name - Stacy (still searching for her)
Perfect drink - in my hand and not yet finished
Perfect job - blow
Perfect girl - one doing perfect job
Perfect car - with perfect girl in passenger seat doing perfect job
Perfect problem - perfect car just ran out of gas
Perfect date - have you not been paying attention on above
Perfect ending - "Hi Stacy. Can I give you a ride home?"

Top five perfect movies:
5. Perfect (smakk trivia - Jamie Lee Curtis was born with a penis)
4. The Perfect Weapon (where is Jeff Speakman when we need him)
3. Dead Solid Perfect
2. Perfect Storm
1. Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle (really might be the perfect movie)

Packing Smakk
Now I know I’m always packing smakk as far as my fresh words and rhymes, but this week I’m actually packing up my stuff to move. After a couple years of perpetuating, habituating and copulating in the LC (that’s Las Colinas), I have decided it is time to move Uptown. Yes, that is right. Club 301 is shutting the doors, boarding up the windows, calling last call, blowing its wad, the fat lady is singing, Elvis is leaving the building, I’m running out of these sayings…you get my point. So I give my fair warning to all those in the Uptown area – Beware, The Smakk is coming.

Top five movies that can make me cry (because they’re “moving” – get it, get it):
5. Jerry Maguire (when Cuba makes the endzone catch, not the Tom & Renee crap)
4. Brian’s Song
3. Empire of the Sun
2. It’s a Wonderful Life
1. Rudy – “I love you Rudy”

Weekend Update Smakk
(please sing this post to Lita Ford's classic "Kiss Me Deadly")

I went to Cool River on Friday night
w/ my coonass friend that lacks some hieght
uh huh....it's just a drunk thang

On Saturday we went out to find this band
At a club called Memphis that was out of hand
uh huh...it's still a drunk thang

We continued on down to a pub on Knox Street
Lookin' for some hoes that we might could meet
Uh huh...I can't believe I'm still up

Now I'm gonna pass out cause I've been drinkin'
Who's this doggie in my room that is stinkin?
Uh huh...I need more Captain

This is my last verse, my promise to you
I need to take this dog out to go pooh pooh
Uh huh...I keep saying Uh huh....

Top five movies about a dog:
5. Con Air - "Diamond Dog" (I just like including Con Air in as many post as possible)
4. Oh Heavenly Dog
3. Cujo
2. Best in Show
1. Old Yeller