Spider Smakk
Club 6850 now has a guardian gatekeeper which hangs down nightly from the rain gutter at the Club's front door so dubbed "Spencer " by the Bunny (so named after The Hills creepy boyfriend of Heidi). Spencer is basically the largest mutant spider I have ever seen and seems to be growing daily. Learning that he is now developed some immunity from the bug spray I have tried on him, it was time for more drastic action. Last night after some sailing with the Captain to gain liquid courage, I decided it was time to relocate Spencer for fear of walking face first into him each day as we leave for our morning runs. After taking in some training material by watching scenes from 300, I went out into the backyard, tore off a good size tree limb for my sword and prepared to "I AM SPARTA" all over Spencer's 8 legged ass. I open the front door slowly with the Bunny safely behind me steadying the flashlight, hanging right there face high is Spence. I calmly take a deep breath and then wildly swing back and forth at the beast until I know longer see him and throw my sapling weapon into the yard. Not having any idea what happen to my enemy arachnid during my frenzied battle rampage, the Bunny and I spend the next 15 minutes checking our hair and clothes for him. Discovering he has not attached to our persons, I retire back to my chair and drink the night away in victory.

So of course, what is the very first text I receive from the Bunny at 6:38am this morning? "Spencer is back." Damn that beast. Project Pressure Washer will be coming soon...

Comeback Smakk
Forced with the choice of starting a joint site with The Bunny, I have decided to postpone my early retirement and return to Smakk. Plus there is just too much need of a venue of expression for the antics of the crew, the randomness of the Bunny and the of course, the wisdom of Smakk. I know the anticipation of my return will cause heart palpitations among my legion (all 6 of you) of subscribers, much like Bunny watching the final episodes of a former season of 24 last night while saying, "I just can't handle this! I don't think I can watch this!" Yes, that's her reacting to a TV show. Can't wait until the wedding day. So pour a Captain and raise the sails...Smakk is back!