Voodoo Smakk
I just heard tonight that someone bought a voodoo doll of me. Now I know the popularity to impale me (well, actually for me to impale her) has always been high, but a voodoo doll? We all know I`m always up for a good poke but I think ya missed the point.
ANNOUCEMENT:
I'm giving you all The Eye.

Real World Smakk
Got this email today from one of the Real World sites:
"I would like to extend an invitation to your loyal users and fans. We are going to have a house sale this week! We are selling the contents of the house. Open to the public at 1:00PM - 6PM this Friday, May 27 and Saturday the 28th 10AM - 6PM. This will take place in the alley behind the house. Those interested should enter from the convention center/Trinity Street side. Thanks!"
Not sure of the validity but wanted to put it out there for anyone in Austin this weeknd. The house is the red warehouse with the "Austin" sign at 3rd & San Jacinto in the entertainment district. If you do make it down there, I'm intrested in buying Johana's bed. Sentimental value...only girl that did not immediately fall for "The Eye". Just needed a little more time...
And remember - new Real World starts on June 21st. Look for my Real World debut taking shots with Wes and Johana.
Top five movies that most realistically mirror my life:
5. Fandango
4. Garden State
3. Office Space
2. Old School
1. Swingers

And once again, no damnit - not Leaving Las Vegas.

Stakeout Smakk
There is a cop sitting out in front of my town home right now. He's been there for the past hour. He must think Lindsey is already in town. Will someone please call in some emergency in the Uptown area to draw him away? Thank you for your support.

Top five films someone gets killed with a stake:
5. Interview With A Vampire
4. Blade
3. Dusk Till Dawn
2. Fright Night
1. Lost Boys

Commandment Smakk
Inspired by Allie’s reemergence to Immoderation, I have decided the time has come to post:
The Ten Commandments of the Smakk (Part 1)
1. Sobriety is a Sin – Sobriety is nothing more than an unnecessary hindrance in life. One must strive to stay inebriated as much as possible and at all times.
2. Thou Shall Always Cockblock – Friends, enemies or strangers - if he has a cute bunny, it is your duty to wave your carrot and draw her away.
3. Tomorrow is a Myth – Tomorrow is never an excuse not to party regardless if you have to attend work or school or a funeral or whatever.
4. Thou Shall Never Regret - Never regret anything from the night before including hook-ups, giant bar tabs, being a drunk ass, random bruises, stolen tombstones, etc.
5. You Shall Not Commit Commitment – Bunnies are just for fun and should be tossed away like toys once you are done playing with them.

Top Five biblical films (yes, I have been slack on my movie lists):
5. Jesus Christ Superstar
4. The Ten Commandments
3. Ben Hur
2. The Last Temptation of Christ
1. Life of Brian

Don't want to hear it from anyone - never saw The Passion of the Christ.

Poll Smakk
I have added a poll to SmakkTalk to help me with some of those important decisions. Not that the results will actually sway me in any way - just curious of other's thoughts. Initial poll is below on sidebar - How will Smakk die?

Apocalypse Smakk
If you see a giant mushroom cloud that tastes like Jager appearing over Dallas this weekend, please do not panic. The drinking gods have Smakk and Lindsey partying in Big D on the same weekend. The National Guard has been alerted.

Flashback Smakk
Still having flashbacks on what exactly happened on Saturday night. Here are some things I do remember. I’m sure I will be reminded of others.

Hotel suite full of drunk bunnies and striped shirts
Red Bull and Vodka EVERYWHERE
Pulling a Bunny Trifecta – Blonde, Brunette & Red Head in 24 hours
Red Bull Guy blowing chunks on speaker at Red Goose (damn - didn’t get to see in person)
Loops’ angry version of shoulder dance rule during quarters game
Flipping coffee table upside down for craps games and Jeff walking away with $300
Posing as Optometrist and tell crazy elevator lady “I’ll SEE you later.”