Smakk Talk

why just talk if you can talk smakk

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Job Smakk
Managing a recruiting firm allows my staff and I to meet with all sorts of special people. Some of my highlights through the years include:
- Lady that showed up for work in her bathrobe
- Lady that crappped on herself and showed the office so they believed her
- Guy that came in with hurt head because his wife hit him with a pan after he tested his new power saw on their floor
- Guy that quoted Shakespeare to me during hiw interview
- Lady that got a sexual harrassment complaint for licking guy in next cubicle
- Guy that claimed he was raped by female co-worker and she gave him herpes
- Guy that I had to chase down in Sam's Club after he was fired because he wouldn't leave
- Guy that came in carrying giant tree branch asking if his paycheck was ready
- Guy that claimed I was discrimating against him for a driver position because of his handicapp. He was blind.
- Lady we had to terminate for bad odor because she wasn't takling care of things down there
- Guy that wanted me to terminate another guy that was sleeping with his wife
- Lady who quit her job because she was going to jail for stabbing her husband and killing him. He was also working at the same client for me
- Guy who slapped my employee with a Fed Ex envelope after thinking he was fired because he was too poor. His release stated he was a "poor performer" at job

Crying, cursing, begging, yelling, bomb threats - ahhh...the life of a recruiter.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Beaver Smakk
Now that's just funny...
Lay Smakk
Ken Lay dead at 64. So this guy gets caught ripping off $100 billion from his investors, bankrupts largest company in modern day US, finally gets sentenced to life in prison, and then checks out from heart attack while vacationing in Colorado before he has to start sentence in 2 months. Sounds ok to me....
Luck Smakk
In the words of Rod Stewart, "Some guys have all the luck." That's the current concensus floating around the crew about yours truly. Or as Loops put it after I sunk a birdie chip from about 30 yards off the green on Saturday, "You must have a horseshoe shoved up your ass!" Then there was my monster comeback at our hold 'em tourney last night serving up a knock-out punch with a river turn straight as Loops just lazered eyes the cards as if he could pull a Superman and light them on fire. Fire Up Shaw B!!! Even the high card side bet with big Wu went my way to snag his last two bones with my eight and even calling out that he would pull a five. Ahhh, how I so enjoy those looks of straight disgust. With no Vegas plans yet for the summer and Gwedo foiling our last minutes road trip to Shrevey yesterday, I still need a some action to work my fortunate streak. When does the lotto play?