Cold Smakk
Am I really starting to catch a cold on a Friday afternoon before the weekend? Oh well. You know what they say, "Starve a fever and drown a cold with as much Captain Morgan as possible for 48 hours continuously while throwing in at least one round of golf and many, many drunken texts to your crew." Or something like that...

Mom Smakk
They sat me down and explained what this engagement thing is. I have't noticed too much of a change around here yet but here is what I've noticed so far.
- Bunny is now officially going to be my mom.
- I think mom means that even though she's been doing it all along she is now responsible for my well being.
- She wears something shiny on her finger that keeps blinding everyone.
- Ron's wallet is noticebly thinner. I'm sure he'll be fine since "All he does is make money."
- So far Mom has only taken me on two crummy walks. Not getting off to a great start.
- I'm learning two new tricks. One is to "play drunk" and another is to be "ring bearer".
- Mom has been too busy to clean. I actually found a piece of captain crunch on the floor today. Very tasty even if I accidently ate it with a giant dust ball.
- Ron keeps turning very pale and clutching at his chest when mom talks about engagement.

I guess that is about it for now. I'll keep you updated. I'm hoping that all of this will somehow benefit me but so far I'm not seeing much of a improvement. In fact, I have this feeling I'm going to be forced to wear more sweaters and scary outfits and learn stupid tricks. Gone are the days when they would pass out with full plates of pizza rolls and let me chew coffee tables. I am shedding a tear now. Just like hundreds of girls throughout Dallas. Also like Uncle Wu who is now feeling even more pressure to pop the question to Pookie. And Uncle Loops who feels he's lost his best friend and had to replace him with myspace. RIP bachelor Smakk. - Carrot

Apocalypse Smakk
There is much debate in the signs of the apocalypse. Common beliefs include The Four Horsemen, The Seven Seals, The Seven Vials, etc... But I have been recognizing many signs in my everyday adventures within the camp I call the Rontourage. Some common examples:
Fire - Loops has a Fire Up everyday
Floods - The Captain on my liver
Pestilence (that means plagues for my Aggie readers) - I don't even want to know the plagues that some of those crew members have spread around Big D
Wars - Have you seen the World Wars that broke out between drunk Bunny & I?
The Second Coming - I try not to give details on my sex life
The Birth of the Antichrist - see birthday list of any single member of the Crew
False Messiahs - Buddha Wu
Cloning - MySpace pigs, meet Loops
Identifying marks being placed on the population at large - what bars don't stamp?
Earthquakes - dance floor at Knox Street

And finally, the most defining action that Armageddon is upon us.....
The Bunny & I are now engaged. Announcements for the End of the World reception party will be forthcoming.