Dart Smakk
ESPN is covering "The World Series of Darts". World Series of Grass Growing must be coming soon. Awesome, simply awesome. And yes - of course, I'm fucking watching it right now. Where's my Captain?

Text Smakk
I may need text rehab. While walking up 3 flights of stairs to The Cage, I shift everything that I'm carrying to one arm - 2 dinners from KFC, 12 shirts from dry cleaners & a 17 pound bag of dog food. Why? So I can keep texting with my free hand. Broken leg or Blue Tooth? I see one coming soon....

Foul Smakk
All I'm saying is don't walk into the bathroom after the Bunny when she goes, "My tummy hurts." Did you freakin' eat a dead raccoon for dinner last night?