Sin Smakk
With Easter coming up this Sunday, I felt this would be a good time for me to ask for forgiveness for some of my past sins. To make it a little more entertaining, I have listed 10 of my more amusing transgressions below for which 5 are true and 5 are not. Please feel free to make your guess on the true ones in the comments below. A winner will be awarded an original Smakk haiku in a future post. Here we go:
10. Poured a Captain during church service from my pocket flask
9. Broke up with a girlfriend while she was in my shower
8. Gave friend's 6 year old a tray of jello shots to keep him quiet during party
7. Stole life size "Al the Butcher" from grocery store by walking him out between me & friend
6. Let out Bunny's cat "Tommy" on purpose so it's annoying ass would run away for good
5. Launched a real pig's head with water balloon launcher into crowd of Aggies at football game
4. Tossed a dyed green baby chicken through a bar window in Mexico before crossing border
3. Mass emailed naked pics of ex-wife to her entire AOL address book
2. Took homeless man from Austin to South Padre during spring break & left him there
1. Stole a tombstone from a graveyard for apartment decoration

Nightmare Smakk
We all have bad dreams like going to school naked, getting lost in strange place, being chased by someone, getting married, etc, etc. But sometimes we have those nightmares that cause us to bolt up in bed pouring in sweat and fear. Those bad dreams involving a loved one dying, plummeting from the sky towards our own death, any scene from the Final Destination movies...you know what I'm talking about. Just the other night, I woke in a shear panic at 4am. So what was it that can give Smakk nightmares? It brings a cold shiver through my spine just to think about it again. My nightmare was about installing light fixtures. Yes, reliving my own home improvements are the demons of my soul. No telling what will happen if I ever decide to re-tile the kitchen floors on my own...

Wichita Smakk
I spent the weekend in Wichita, KS with the Bunny and her family. Here are the top 5 most memorable moments to weekend:
5. 5 hour drive of silence home after I paid for $70 breakfast
4. Bunny asking if I owned red checkered shirt after watching "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" dinner theater
3. Getting $1 Pabst Blue Ribbon draft deal only to find beer glass barely larger than shot
2. Snow flurries and 40mph Arctic winds in April. Wtf?
1. Having blitzed mother-in-law ask about sex life while trying to put pink Lee press on nail on my big toe

I foresee therapy in my near future...