Smakk Talk

why just talk if you can talk smakk

Friday, August 26, 2005

Alamo Smakk
Col. William Travis, Jim Bowie, Davy Crockett..and now Capt Smakk. Its roadtrip time for a little reflection of the men that died at the Alamo, and my brain cells that will die while looking at my reflection in the Riverwalk. I hope to be the first person banned from the town since Ozzy took a leak on the walls of that sacred fortress. Well Ozzy even in his prime has nothing on Smakk and the Rontourage. Time to get ugly - San Antonio syle. Once again, the national guard has been notified.
Top five westerns in last 20 years:
5. Wyatt Earp
4. Young Guns
3. Tombstone
2. Unforgiven
1. Silverado

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Carrot Smakk
Just checking in to let you know that I'm still alive. Things are fairly good. I'm still allowed out on walks. I have given in and am eating my food and drinking my water. I roll on my back and allow my belly to be scratched. I can even walk up and down the stairs by myself now. This Ron person and his friends seem to be ok. He is quite amusing. Just the other night I was laughing to myself as he fell asleep with his drink in his hand and it spilled all over. My only complaint is this cat we sometimes visit. Here are a few reasons for hating the cat.
* It sits up on the couch and laughs down at me because I'm too scared to jump up there.
* It doesn't have to go outside to relieve itself. Instead it leaves them in this box where I'm tempted to eat them.
* It gets better food then me. I know because I've tried it. Twice.
* It hides from me so that when I do finally find the thing it scares me to death. Yes, I'm still scared of almost everything.
* It gets to sleep on the bed.
* It gets to sleep on the bed and not be locked up in a cage.
* It craps in peoples mouths while they sleep.
* And finally, it steals attention away from me.

Top 5 movies with cats
5. Cats the musical
4. The Advenutures of Milo and Otis
3. Cats and Dogs
2. Austin Powers the Spy Who Shagged Me
1. Pet Cemetary

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Dialogue Smakk
In an effort to help out all my friends in their smakk talk to the bunnies, here’s a few common situations when talking to the little fuzzy tails that I highly recommend you incorporate immediately. I have used each of these just in past 48 hours.

Bunny – “Do I look fat in this?”
Smakk – “Fat? Compared to what?”

Bunny – “ How do you feel about me?”
Smakk – ‘I love you like a sister…in-law.”

Bunny – “So I was talking to my friend and blah, blah, blah…”
Smakk – *interrupting* “Is this going to be a long story?”

Bunny Girlfriend – “Next month, we should plan a trip together to the beach or somewhere.”Smakk – “Why don’t we just try to make it through the weekend first.”

Monday, August 22, 2005

Saying Smakk
My new saying - "I'm gonna cold me up in the scrotal area."