Sandwich Smakk
When did it become such a chore to put some meat and bread together for lunch? So I decide to stop by the casa today for a little quick lunch and remember the Bunny bougt some sandwich fixin's the other night. So I get a piece of this 35 calorie bread. No wander it's only 35 cals. Damn piece is so thin it literally has holes in it big enough to put your pinky through. Whatever - I move onto the cheese. So I grab a piece of pepperjack that's been rewrapped in the bag. Now this cheese wasn't bought the other night by the Bunny so I'm trying to figure out if it's still good. Sure you would think you could tell by looking at it but I can't figure out if the damn thing is getting mold spots on it or that's just a piece of jalapeno. Forget it. We'll just go with meat and bread.
So I open a new container of smoked turkey and at the sound of the package opening, I get stampeded by Carrot and Pepper. I can get Carrot since I've thrown him a scrap or two before, but Pepper? Do freakin' cats eat lunch meat also? Well I learned apparently so. So I feed the damn animals that are begging like me in front of a bottle of Captain, put the turkey on the "hole"ly bread, apply one of the 15 types of mustard in the fridge (???) and put my sandwich together. Of course on my first bite, the damn mustard comes shooting out on me through the fucking hole in the 35 cal bread. "Yo Bunny. Can we pony up to 40 cals next time so I can get a whole piece? I'm willing to risk the 5 calories to save my freakin' wardrobe."
Fuck it. Where's the closest Subway?

Enterprise Smakk
With my weekly trips to Austin or Shreve, I have become a regular at my Enterprise Rental Car shop. It's like Norm from Cheers when I walk in there - "Hi. Mr Griffin." "How are you today, Mr. Griffin." "Where you off to this time Mr. Griffin."
I've become such a regular there that one of the counter guys saw me today, went back in the back office and came out to give me a package. Homeboy took a picture of my family seal because he has the same last name and wanted me to have the pic. Am I really getting gifts from the rental car guy? All I've got to say is my regular girl at the teller at my local bank branch better start ponying up a little more than a damn lollipop on my next deposit.
So I've got a standard car reserved for my like day trip down to Austin and the Asst Manager walks up to me and says, "Mr. Griffin. You ok if we put you in a SUV today? No extra cost of course." So I'm thinking maybe he's going to set me up a little for all my biz he's getting. Whatever... If you see a piece of shit white KIA death trap driving down I35 South tomorrow, don't be afraid to wave hello. When the fuck did we start buying imports from Korea...jeez....

Husker Update Smakk
So after a 10 hour drive with the Bunny to get to Land of the Corn, here's highlights of the trip:
- Walk into house and Bunny's mom says, "So do you recognize the Direct TV guy there install our satellite?" It was the Bunny's 6th grade boyfriend
- Learning how to hand feed the chickens and hearing story about the baby ducks that were hatched by the chicken mom
- Runza - the hamburger and cabbage hot pocket fast food treat
- Dirt roads, dirt roads, dirt roads
- Seeing UT gear hanging in window of Sports Shop store. Screw the Huskers...haha
- Being able to buy the Captain at the neighborhood Wally World
- 4 hour UNO game with Bunny's stepdad
- Being only BMW in entire town and only seeing one other foreign car
- Getting 2 speeding tickets in Kansas with 45 minutes
- Petting the stuffed Bobcat in den
- 80 year old grandma saying, "Look at her belly button piercing!" while holding up Bunny's shirt
- Being asked if I want any "pop"

What can I say? McCook, It's Nebraska's Hot Spot.