Carrot Smakk
Just checking in to let you know that I'm still alive. Things are fairly good. I'm still allowed out on walks. I have given in and am eating my food and drinking my water. I roll on my back and allow my belly to be scratched. I can even walk up and down the stairs by myself now. This Ron person and his friends seem to be ok. He is quite amusing. Just the other night I was laughing to myself as he fell asleep with his drink in his hand and it spilled all over. My only complaint is this cat we sometimes visit. Here are a few reasons for hating the cat.
* It sits up on the couch and laughs down at me because I'm too scared to jump up there.
* It doesn't have to go outside to relieve itself. Instead it leaves them in this box where I'm tempted to eat them.
* It gets better food then me. I know because I've tried it. Twice.
* It hides from me so that when I do finally find the thing it scares me to death. Yes, I'm still scared of almost everything.
* It gets to sleep on the bed.
* It gets to sleep on the bed and not be locked up in a cage.
* It craps in peoples mouths while they sleep.
* And finally, it steals attention away from me.
Top 5 movies with cats
5. Cats the musical
4. The Advenutures of Milo and Otis
3. Cats and Dogs
2. Austin Powers the Spy Who Shagged Me
1. Pet Cemetary
Just checking in to let you know that I'm still alive. Things are fairly good. I'm still allowed out on walks. I have given in and am eating my food and drinking my water. I roll on my back and allow my belly to be scratched. I can even walk up and down the stairs by myself now. This Ron person and his friends seem to be ok. He is quite amusing. Just the other night I was laughing to myself as he fell asleep with his drink in his hand and it spilled all over. My only complaint is this cat we sometimes visit. Here are a few reasons for hating the cat.
* It sits up on the couch and laughs down at me because I'm too scared to jump up there.
* It doesn't have to go outside to relieve itself. Instead it leaves them in this box where I'm tempted to eat them.
* It gets better food then me. I know because I've tried it. Twice.
* It hides from me so that when I do finally find the thing it scares me to death. Yes, I'm still scared of almost everything.
* It gets to sleep on the bed.
* It gets to sleep on the bed and not be locked up in a cage.
* It craps in peoples mouths while they sleep.
* And finally, it steals attention away from me.
Top 5 movies with cats
5. Cats the musical
4. The Advenutures of Milo and Otis
3. Cats and Dogs
2. Austin Powers the Spy Who Shagged Me
1. Pet Cemetary
posted by CaptSmakk @ 9:45 AM
3 Comments:
At 12:41 PM,
Anonymous said…
Cat in the Hat (which sucked so I guess it isn't a top 5)
Sheena (big cats, lions; plus she gets a little naked)
Catwoman (didn't see it, but its a cat)
Batman (Pfeiffer cat; beats Cats the musical)
That Darn Cat (obvious)
Garfield (even more obvious)
The Truth About Cats & Dogs (although I don't know if there were cats in it; don't even know if there were dogs in it; but it's in the title!!!)
At 2:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
I heard some weird talk coming from my owner that he was going to get me a Prince Albert. Not exactly sure what that means, but if it is some sort of gay clothing that people put on their pets, then I’m outta here. Wait, maybe he said he was going to get himself a Prince Albert. In that case, does that mean he is going to get with some guy that is from royalty? But, he mentioned something about piercing something about a cold scrotal area. Now I’m confused.
Look! I’m just a dog, and a mutt at that. I don’t want much but food, a place to stay, and a little privacy every once in awhile to do, well, you know what dogs can do. Ladies, I’m calling out to you. Or in my case, I guess I can call you bitches and it will be perfectly acceptable by all female woofers.
Anyway, I babble. And to let you know, I am getting some kind of secondary buzz from the alcohol fumes that permeate from my owner’s skin. I can’t even stand straight.
At 4:55 PM,
Anonymous said…
I have a website you can look at too. www.douchebag.com
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