Sandwich Smakk
When did it become such a chore to put some meat and bread together for lunch? So I decide to stop by the casa today for a little quick lunch and remember the Bunny bougt some sandwich fixin's the other night. So I get a piece of this 35 calorie bread. No wander it's only 35 cals. Damn piece is so thin it literally has holes in it big enough to put your pinky through. Whatever - I move onto the cheese. So I grab a piece of pepperjack that's been rewrapped in the bag. Now this cheese wasn't bought the other night by the Bunny so I'm trying to figure out if it's still good. Sure you would think you could tell by looking at it but I can't figure out if the damn thing is getting mold spots on it or that's just a piece of jalapeno. Forget it. We'll just go with meat and bread.
So I open a new container of smoked turkey and at the sound of the package opening, I get stampeded by Carrot and Pepper. I can get Carrot since I've thrown him a scrap or two before, but Pepper? Do freakin' cats eat lunch meat also? Well I learned apparently so. So I feed the damn animals that are begging like me in front of a bottle of Captain, put the turkey on the "hole"ly bread, apply one of the 15 types of mustard in the fridge (???) and put my sandwich together. Of course on my first bite, the damn mustard comes shooting out on me through the fucking hole in the 35 cal bread. "Yo Bunny. Can we pony up to 40 cals next time so I can get a whole piece? I'm willing to risk the 5 calories to save my freakin' wardrobe."
Fuck it. Where's the closest Subway?