St. Patty Parade Day Smakk
Green beer day
Green beer day
Green beer day
Green beer day
Green beer day
Green beer day
Green puke day
More green beer day
More green beer day

Top five films about beer:
5. BASEketball
4. Take This Job & Shove It
3. Smokey & The Bandit (the truck was full of Coors)
2. Billy Madison
1. Strange Brew

You guessed it - Green beer day!

Ode to Smakk
Drinking alone, some say may be whack
But better than alone, and smokin' dat crack
I vibe with the Captain to write down my blog
I wake up in the morning, in a big ole hazy fog
My words flow right out, like my morning crap from my booty
What happened to that Facts of Life girl whose name was Tootie?
I say word to Dr. E., Rex Revere and that girlie named Frenchify
Why do you keep changing your blog, Mr. Gfive?
My point I don't remember, but I'm sure it was mack
Just read it, love it, and don't give me no flack
Because be it today or tomorrow, I'm just talkin' smakk.

Top five films about writers:
5. Skin Deep
4. Finding Forrester
3. The Shining
2. This movie about Hemingway when he's in Spain that I can't remember the name of
1. Shakespeare in Love

My choices tonight I feel are weak,
So back to the bottle until I peak.

Homebound Smakk
To comment on the hot story of the day about Elizabeth Smart being found, that truly is wonderful news. I hope this is that story with a terrible beginning that has turned out as a great and miracle ending. (And by the way, this "Amber Alert" stuff on the highway is the best use of a normally useless traffic system...so props to whoever for that one.) But I gotta tell you, I feel there's something weird about this one and the shit's gonna hit the fan soon. First off, with all the technology and power of the government today, how could a teenager get kidnapped and then be found freely roaming the streets with her abducters only about 20 miles away? The whole thing is just freakin' me out tonight...what a buzz waster.
Top five kiddnapping flicks, I think (I'm struggling with this because hostage flix are a separate catagory):
5. Suicide Kings
4. Breakdown
3. Fargo
2. The King of Comedy
1. Raising Arizona

Too serious of a topic tonight so here's a joke:
A muffin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey. We don't serve food here."
That's good stuff.

The Million Skank March Smakk
Thank you to the comments from gfive for my inspiration tonight about possible skank backlash. What if all my comments cause the skanks to unite in protest? Naked skank bodies spelling out "Stop Smakk - Love Skank". (Though that message would take a lot of the letter "k" to make, which would give the skanks another good leg spreading opportunity.) I'm torn - do my comments lean towards skankism? Am I unfairly grouping and stereotyping all skanks the same? Is there more to skanks than their skankiness? Well, well, well...
No - skank is skank is skank. So.
Top five films about racism:
5. Mississippi Burning
4. Glory
3. A Soldier's Story
2. In the Heat of the Night
1. American History X (a smakk alltime fave)

In closing - stereotypes are bad, racism is bad, skanks dying in a slow long suffering of pain and agony is fine, as long as they die.

Whack Smakk
Yes, I'm talking about that which we all secretly want to do sometimes but control ourselves not to. Not that kinda of whacking, you perv - that we all do in secret because we can't control ourselves. I'm talking about that secret desire to rid the world of some useless person - to snuff, rub out, waste, off... You got the picture. Now I know you're saying your not the type of person to deliver someone else to a happy trip six feet under, but you've all done it anyway. How about a rapist, a child pornographer, Timothy McVey, the schmuck jingling a pocket full of change at the movie theater (that guy pissed me off so bad) or the most vile, dreaded of all...no not, Saddam, not Bin Laden. Oh no, it's that ultimate evil - the skank. So I have decided to go before Congress with resolution 6.6.6. - free will to eliminate the skank. We need a skank free society, a society where the skank can no longer lurk under someone else's sheets, a society where the skank is stomped out like any other cockroach, a society where the children all don't have to look like the mailman or the pool guy or the janitor at the skank's office. That's right...I am asking for Skankocide. Smell the skankness fade away....
Anyway - top five films about an assassin:
5. La Femme Nikita & The Big Hit (tie)
4. Grosse Point Blank
3. The Day of the Jackal
2. The Professional
1. My fantasy wedding video

Get 'em a body bag, Johnny!

Monumental Smakk

Yeah, I know it sounds groundbreaking smakk is coming forth with but really I don't have much to say tonight. I could spend the night telling gfive the meaning of life and the rules I know about hockey, or spouting the grace of war to Rex Revere, or even telling Frenchify why there's something very Canadian about the French, or maybe just tell DrE that every dead calf need not be pulled...but instead I will just wander my own labyrinth of a mind tonight, and seek my monumental moments later to share.
Top five flicks with a cool monument moment:
5. Independence Day (White House goes boom)
4. King Kong (swatting planes from the E State)
3. Logan's Run (DC landmarks kickin' in ivy and cats)
2. North by Northwest (hanging by a nose on Rushmore)
1. Planet of the Apes (Lady Liberty in her finest moment)

As for me, the plan is to keep on drinking and build my own personal monument - better known as, My Ode to la Commode de Skank.