New Joke Smakk
Learned a new joke over the weekend which I will be using often. And for those that are easily offended, you shouldn't be reading my fucking site anyway. So...

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck his dick.

Baby Smakk
So my buddy S-Man in H-Town became a first-time father this week. First off - congratulations to you and the wife. And say hello to sobriety for a while. Second off - I have no idea why the little guy resembles me so much. Hmmm...
Now many of you probably think I'm joking here but there are some very similar traits between me and this guy:
We are both usually in a state of complete incapacitation.
We both will drink from a bottle mostly.
We both drool often on naked breasts.
We both have people carrying us around most of the time. (For me, usually in my own car.)
We will both urinate anywhere and anytime that seems conveniant.
We both have bunnies in our beds.

And just so you know, nobody puts baby in a corner.

Fried Smakk
So Loops, me and the bunnies took a little trip to the land of the mullets yesterday also known as the Texas State fair. I wasn't quite brave enough try the friend BPJ and banana sandwhich so I just stuck to the safer fare of a corn dog and fried oreos. I also had about a dozen or so Coors Lights to try and cool down in the 100 degree heat. Ended up by the end of the day, the only thing really fried was me. And why did I wake up with a giant orange fish in my bed?