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why just talk if you can talk smakk

Thursday, April 24, 2003

BA Smakk

My mood today has brought back memories of a classroom nickname my geek calculus teacher gave me in high school - BA. Unlike DrE's past, this BA has nothing to do with the noise he hears while "tending" sheep, but rather a reference to Mr.T's character on the A-Team, BA Barracus - as in BA for Bad Attitude. I think my 1:15am flight arrival last night kicked off my good spirits for the day, but it was definitely my day's end that kicked it into high gear.
I'm in this office and dude gets about 3" from my face and says, "You're eyes look great." I'm no bigot you know. I don't call 'em fags to their face or anything, but I'm not looking to get hit on by some random rump-ranger either. So what else can I do? I deck the guy. This guy's a freakin' business professional - he should know better. That's the last time I go to that optometrist.
Yeah - I know that was weak. Well, screw you faggot. I told you they called me BA.

Top five movies with a Mohawk:
5. Vision Quest
4. Last of the Mohicans
3. Summer of Sam
2. Rocky 3
1. Taxi Driver

DrE + MrT = Mr Terd. Sometimes it just all makes sense.

Monday, April 21, 2003

Gross Out Smakk
I have decided there is no show better than Fear Factor. Especially tonight's "Gross Out" special with bobbing in cow's blood, eating live horned tomato worms and collecting dead skunks in a completely blacked-out tunnel maze. Screw Sienfeld - extreme game shows are now the future. These are the shows our youth must learn from. The lessons one gathers from their high moral values and sense of self pride. I love you fear factor and the teacher you have become for the future of television. Or we could watch a new pilot I'm creating - "Dr.E and the Dead Calf" Kinda a Mr. Ed that doesn't talk or even breathe.
Top five movies about teachers:
5. Stand and Deliver
4. Teachers
3. Lean on Me
2. Wild Things (sure I watched it for the teachers)
1. The Dead Poet's Society

Those you cannot - teach. Those who cannot teach, eat gross things on tv for cash.
And I'm outta here for So Cal in the morn - so I'll catch up the smakk at week's end. O-u-t...that spells out.