Yes Smakk
Yes, I live in Uptown.
Yes, I have a stocked bar in my 3 story townhome.
Yes, I drive a BMW.
Yes, I have an Executive Director level job.
Yes, I always pay the tab with my Platinum Am Ex.
Yes, I drink Red Bull like its water.
Yes, I have a closet full of striped shirts.
Yes, I run with a crew who also wear striped shirts.
Yes, I go out almost every single night.
Yes, I will cockblock you while out every single night.
Yes, I already have her number in my cell phone.
Yes, My taglines are “That’s how I roll” and “All I do is make money”
Yes, I have a cute bunny on my side.
Anymore fucking questions?

Depressing Real World Smakk
Is the Real World always this freakin’ depressing or is it because this is the first time that I have seen it sober? Jesus. This Danny guy is having about the shittiest real world experience I have ever seen. First the broken eye, now the dead mom. At least he’s getting to bang the hottest one in the house, Melinda.
Anyway, they need to crank the shit up right away. We need more banging, more roommate confrontation, more drunkenness, more nakedness - just more good fucking debauchery all around. So far this season doesn’t even compare to a typical Sunday or Monday night of the Rontourage. This crew couldn’t even come close to hanging with my boys on the weekend. Well, maybe Melinda and Johanna could hang.
And in real real world news, I heard my favorite little rock star is having some drama of her own tonight. Hang in there. Things will get better for you I’m sure. Alright, I need to make a damn drink and see if TV can get anymore interesting. This is what I get for staying home on a Tuesday.

Believable/Unbelievable Smakk
Some random things – some believable, some not. All true…
Unbelievable – Just had lunch with a girl that thought Turkey Bacon came from a cow.
Believable – I restocked bar last night with 2 handles of Captain, 2 handles of Vodka and a liter of Crown. Will probably only last through weekend.
Unbelievable - Andy Milanokis is 28 years old. Are you fucking kidding me?
Believable – Lap & Flake are changing their blog site because can’t take the heat from Rontourage. Haha – another Smakk victim.
Unbelievable – I will be finally getting Carrot this weekend and I plan on keeping him alive and happy.
Believable – I told a bunny that I had feelings for her.
Unbelievable – I actually meant it.

D**k Smakk
Just noticed bunnies like to call me words that begain with the letter D and end in K. Coincidence - don't really care. But gives me new poll material. Check out on the side.

Blue Law Smakk
Can someone explain to me why the hell Blue Laws still freakin’ exist in 2005? For those of unfamiliar with these morality laws, basically they were started by the Puritans in seventeenth-century Connecticut to restrict what activities can be performed on the Sabbath. But mostly, these laws are the pain in the ass reason I was sober most of yesterday because in Texas, you can’t buy liquor from a store on Sunday. That is just complete bullshit. And what’s up with freakin’ Chick-Fil-A? If there is ever a time that I need a greasy chicken biscuit for breakfast, it’s Sunday morning after a good Saturday night ripper.
So back to my day yesterday. After a nice little Sat night at Medici & Manhattan Bar with Loops, Nicki and the J & J bunnies, I think a good all day bender to round out the weekend is in order. But the unthinkable has happened and I forgot to restock my bar on Saturday. We are talking desperate times here - no captain, no vodka, no Crown. At one point I had to make a fucking coconut rum and diet. Well, there will be a Club 1407 restocking party this evening before we get our Laguna on. So put in your requests now cause I just love having to use a shopping cart at the liquor store.