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Smakk Talk

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Saturday, February 01, 2003

Debris Smakk
First off, the shuttle disaster today is an awful tragedy and my sincere feelings go out to the families of the crewmembers. That said - we know who I am or at least what I write. So here are the first despicable one-liners I've heard about today's events:
My marriage broke up faster than the Columbia.
I hear NASA jigsaw puzzles are available all over town in Palestine, TX.
Hey Bartender. I need a beer as bad as the astronauts need a new shuttle.
For an appetizer, we'll just have some crackers with de brie.

Anyway, here's tonight's list.
Top 5 films about astronauts:
5. Planet of the Apes (1968)
4. Capricorn One
3. 2001
2. Apollo 13
1. The Right Stuff
Say a pray for the fallen tonight and for those in North Texas - keep an eye on the sky.

Thursday, January 30, 2003

Smakk Hell
Many people have their demons to deal with - drugs, alcohol, gambling, crime, a wife, etc... The wise man says, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Well the Smakk Man says, "What gives you more fun, more money & more "you-know-what-I'm-sayin'-Dog", makes you happier (and satisfied)." So get out your crosses, read from your own "bible" and go watch Risky Business. Because sometimes you just have to say, "What the f***."
Best movies with the devil or demons (excluding my wedding video):
5. The Devil's Advocate
4. Angel Heart
3. The Omen
2. The Exorcist
1. My Wedding Video (what can I say - my ex is a bitch)
Fire & Brimstone , baby!!

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

Sitcom Smakk
Death of the sitcom will be the television legacy of our time. Reality TV, gameshows on steriods, dating shows from hell and dramas called either CSI or Law & Order - that covers everything. Oh yeah, and the Sopranos and Sex in the City on HBO. Where's the new Seinfeld, Cheers, MASH, Friends? Has it gotten so bad that John Ritter has a comeback with that formula crap "8 Simple Positions for Shacking Up with my Hot Daughter". Come on... Oh well, guess I'm going back to see who's our next American Idol.
Top five films about television programs or TV industry:
5. The Late Show
4. Quiz Show
3. Tootsie
2. Network
1. Broadcast News

And this is me, signing off.

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

George W Smakk
Big George has a lot of critcs but he delivered a state of the union that was specific and decisive. If you compare to the fluff speeches by Bubba Clinton who was surfing an economic wave that had nothing to do with his efforts, George W made specific plans for specific actions. Anyone can deliver feel good when nothing's wrong, but at least this Prez can give his policy ideas to fix and eliminate challenges in a time of uncertainity. But then again, I've had a couple drinks and thought it was the other Bush a couple times. So:
Five Best Films about the President:
5. Dave
4. Primary Colors
3. All the President's Men
2. The American President
1. Abe Lincoln in Illinois (1940)
GBA - out.
Smakk not there

"Not knowing, I cannot say." - Jimmy Stewart

Top five films with imaginary character/characters:
5. The Shining
4. The Usual Suspects
3. Donnie Darko
2. Fight Club
1. Harvey

I'm outta here.

Sunday, January 26, 2003

Super Commercial Smakk
The game is over and the Bucs win big (as I predicted). But as we all know, more importantly is how the ad companies did on the over-hyped commercials. Here’s how I saw it – the Bud/Bud Light effort was OUTSTANDING!! Couple other good showings but not that great of an overall performance by the ads. So here’s the best.
Best 2003 Super Bowl commercials:
10. Monster.com – truck with no driver
9. Bud Light – 3rd arm
8. Sierra Mist – monkey catapult into polar bear tank
7. Sports Center – Montana’s lost Super Bowl ring
6. Bud Light – clown drinking from ass
5. Fed Ex – Cast Away spoof
4. Pepsi Twist – Osbornes meet Osmonds
3. H&R Block – Willie’s shaving cream commercial
2. Bud Light – dog as dreadlocks/fro going in bar
1. Bud – zebra checking replay challenge for horses game (also 1st commercial tonight)

I have a recap of every commercial, but I’ll save it for later.
B-U-C-S, that spells BUCS!!
Smakk Prediction
One hour and 17 minutes to kickoff - here's my call.
Bucs 31 - Radiers 24
Talk to you after the game.