Fresh Smakk
I feel that my smakk has become dry and mundane. My daily interactions with my fellow peeps are not what they once were. I need something fresh, something new, something that expresses uniqueness. So to cure this ail, I have decided to answer every situation I encounter tomorrow with my new favorite saying:
Well, butter my ass and call me a biscuit!
'nuff said...
Top five films with a homosexual rape scene:
5. Shawshank Redemption
4. Bad Boys (1983)
3. American History X
2. Deliverance
1. Dr.E meets the Dead Calf

Get up, boy. I bet you can squeal. I bet you can squeal like a pig.
They don't call me Dr. E for nuthin'...

Jurassic Smakk
Just watched Jurassic Park
Thought about listening to Jurassic Five
Looked at a fat juror's ass..ick
Someone gave a Jew arsenic

yeah, it's weak tonight - but so were my drinks

Top five "beast" flicks (non alien):
5. The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977)
4. Heathers (uhhh...Shannon Doherty people)
3. Jurassic Park
2. King Kong (1976)
1. Jaws

I think we need a bigger boat.

Word to the L, Word to the R Smakk
You perpetuated unique style by lookin' sleek while being boxy,
I knew you were the ride to get da cheekymonkeys that are foxy.
I could steer you down the highway, up the hill or over curb,
I could open up both sunroofs and let out the smell of herb.
I drove you through the city though you were built to go safari,
I wished I would have used you to run over that bitch name Molly.
So to my dear Land Rover - it's time to bid farewell,
And let your broken British ass just go rest down in hell.
Plus you suck in too much gas and drive like a fat old tank,
And you were also the ride of that damn old stinky Skank.
word....

Top five Rocky films (because Land Rover spelled backwards is revordnal - okay, I've been drinking):
5. Rocky IV
4. Rocky V
3. Rocky II
2. Rocky III
1. Rocky

What's your prediction for the fight?
My prediction? Pain

Auto Matic Smakk
My Land Rover sucks - I'm buying something new. I need style, I need grace, I need a car that looks good but also works for more than a week at a time. Plus it must be able to help me pick up the future Mrs. Ex-Smakk. Yes, I'm ready to put the skank behind me and not get behind the skank. My time to move on has come. So I need the help of all my fans (as the crickets chirp) to help choose my next ride...(once again, I'm talking about a new car, not a new skank). Share your knowledge.
Top five flicks with the car as a "living" character:
5. Maximum Overdrive
4. Blah, blah, blah
3. Christine
2. The Love Bug
1. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Dong! Where is my automobile?
Auto-mo-biiile?