Text Smakk
All of sudden I am finding text and picture mail very annoying. I’m not sure if it’s my bunny having her volume turned up full blast for each text that she gets every 30 seconds or if it’s the absolutely random texts and pics I get. Here’s the list of the crap I received the past hours:
Sorry bathroom is mess. In process of cleaning.
It smells like a dirty diaper filled with Indian food. (Ironically, those are from different people and not about the same subject.)
Picture of cocktail
I think Ann Curry used to be a man. Or she still is a man.
Watching “Breaker Breaker” on Starz channel. Had 2 let u know.
Picture of cocktail
I wanna put up a tree and share holidays with you.
Picture of cocktail
What’s the guys name that played on Gone in 60 Seconds and the Punisher?
Picture of toliet
Do you want drink for the road? (Finally, something important.)
Picture of Christmas tree
I love Rick Springfield
I see you
Picture of dog peeing
Batteries still work

Oh well – at least it’s Friday and I’m going to end my day today at 11am. Start your drinking engines boys. I need to make up for last weekend.

Cheap Smakk
Nothing like checking your account to find out your paycheck is $7000 less than it was supposed to be. The Man is playing his games again and he is going to get burned. Actually, I think I convinced him to pay me my cash when I mentioned that I have about $4 Million of his money siting in paperwork on my desk starting to inch it's way to my shredder if he fucks with me.

I really fucking hate cheap people. Like the buddy that all of sudden gets alligator arms when the bill arrives at the table and can't seem to reach it. Or the guy that makes you drive him about 5 miles out of the way so he doesn't have to pay the $1.50 ATM charge. Or one of my favorites was my college buddy that would sneak his own beers into the bar inside his coat jacket. Ae you fucking kidding me.? If you can't afford to play with the big dogs than keep your ass home in the doghouse.

Oh well. Need to go steal some office equipment now. Anyone know a good pawn shop?

Meet the Parents Smakk
Well I survived meeting the bunny’s family this weekend in Florida. Papa Rabbit didn’t exactly hook me up to the lie detector machine while I was there, but I’m pretty sure Mr. Retired-Air-Force-Now-In-Charge-of-Running-All-High-Level-Security-Clearances took a few of my fingerprints off the glassware during the weekend. So it wasn’t my exact normal weekend but here’s some of the “highlights”:

Time spent hanging Christmas lights outside – 7 hours
Time spent in local bar down street – 18 minutes
Time spent scrubbing back deck – 2 hours
Time spent at beach – 27 minutes
Time spent talking to Grandma – 13 hours (though I believe I blacked out during the 4th telling of the tractor story)
Time spent talking to drunken full bird Colonel – 1½ hour
Time took for bunny to finish 5k run – 21 minutes
Time took for me to walk over and get a drink while waiting for bunny to finish 5k – 20.5 minutes
Time spent standing up in kitchen having “family time” – 39 hours
Time spent pretending to be sober during “family time” – 39 hours
Time spent waiting in airport for flight delays on return – 4 hours
Time spent waiting in airport after fucking bar closed – 2 LONG hours

So I made it through the weekend and actually thought that all of Bunny’s family and friends were nice folks and good people. They liked to drink, they liked to hang out and they liked to drink. So overall, it was a fun (though not exactly Smakk-like) trip.
And Christmas is right around the corner with my folks in town… I need to start drinking now.