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Smakk Talk

why just talk if you can talk smakk

Saturday, March 01, 2003

Ha Smakk
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
haha

Thursday, February 27, 2003

# Smakk
One crazy summer, I spent 2 days in the valley where I met three men and a baby who had just arrived back from four weddings and a funeral. With only five easy pieces and a six pack, I toasted the wedding party of seven brides for seven brothers before setting off on an 8 mile journey which took me 9 months and 9 1/2 weeks. (I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore - and people named Molly are skanks.)

Top 10 flicks with 10:
10. Malcolm X (just pretend this one makes sense)
9. Jason X
8. Ten Little Indians
7. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
6. 10 Things I Hate About You
5.Tin Men (close enough)
4. 2010
3. Force 10 from Navarone
2. The Ten Commandments
1. 10

May I have ten thousand marbles please?

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

The Iceman "Gone"eth Smakk
So no more ice. Yep that means only one thing - time to think up another excuse to slack off from work. Though I think most of you blogheads already have that one mastered. Anyway, I gotta say I'm feeling kinda low tonight (not just cause I feel out of my chair), but with our goodbyes to the ice. It came in like gangbusters - disrupting our lives and making us pause at it's might. Those fierce little dropplets took out our city of big hair and steel. Though alone as a mere mortal armed with a 5000lb Land Rover, I said onto thou - back off you bastard of a freak frozen rainstorm or I shall smelt you down with the mighty blow of my four wheel drive and seat warmers. And as forceful as you came, you yielded in a reside of mediocrity and slush on my pavement. So forever heed my wrath, you air of frozen discontent or once again you shall wash away in a drain of dispairity. Yeah, I've had a couple - so what?
Top five flix where someone melted (judged by the melting, not the flick):
5. A.I.
4. Alien Nation
3. Raiders of the Lost Ark
2. Terminator 2
1. Wizard of Oz

Seriously, who else could come up with character melting as the subject. Peace out thou and love thy Smakkster.

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

Ice Smakk
It's too easy to bitch about all the idiot drivers in Texas when a little bad weather hits. Driving from Los Colinas to Richardson this morning I can say I was actually very pleased to see that most people were scared to venture out at all, so most of the idiots stayed home. And for the guys flying by everyone in their pick-ups, you need to learn that a vehicle with all the weight in the front and none in the back is the worst type for driving on icy roads. These rednecks that just haul ass by, make my drive so much more enjoyable when I get to honk and wave as I pass them 10 minutes later spinning their tires in some ditch. Anyway - if you don't think you can handle the roads that stay home. As for me, I have one of those "essential" positions which explains while why I'm doing this post in the middle of the work day. Now to the picks.
Top five trapped in the snow films:
5. Die Hard 2 (little bit of a stretch)
4. Everest
3. Alive
2. Misery
1. The Shining

Ice, Ice Baby.

Monday, February 24, 2003

Grammy Smakk
I have split feelings about the Grammy show. Yeah I liked that they had more performances, but they blew off announcing alot of the categories. I didn't even realize until about halfway through the show that the little text message they were showing before commericial were listing already awarded winners. They were blowing by major stuff like Best Rap & Country Performers categories. Now at least the announcer would read off and show acceptance photo stills for some big winners like Best Polka Album and Best Native American Performance. And the weakest thing was that the host was the "People of New York." (Though Dustin Hoffman refering to the Boss as Bruce Springsteet was classic.) New York needs to give the whole victim gig a rest - it's like if Rodney King were a city. Yeah 9/11 sucked for everyone and especially people there, but it's not like New Yorkers aren't still assholes and can't drive worth crap. What musicians, besides Paul Simon, worth a crap came from New York anyway. So here's my pity party for NYC.
Top five films in New York:
5. Escape from New York (had to have it in there)
4. Midnight Cowboy
3. Taxi Driver
2. Breakfast at Tiffany's
1. Godfather 2

And just for your reference - Woody Allen sucks.