Hmmmmmmmmm Smakk
The things that I am thinking about tonight (yeah, it's another fuckin' list. You got a problem with that?):

What the hell do you eat at an Ethiopian restaurant? Your body fat?
Why are the drive up ATM buttons in brail?
Sam's, Costco - Let me pay a membership to buy shit from you?
I am way too sober.
If I hang from the roof and clap, will I be a ceiling fan?
Can you tell when a retarded person is drunk?
About time to rethink age of consent.
Why are there handicapped parking spots at the soccer field?
I have pussy on my lap and it's actually a fucking cat...

The Captain and I are about to set sail. Ahoy!

Revisited Smakk
Been thinking that I like my posts better when I write them at night rather than during the day. For many reasons:

Like TV, it's just better after 2 or 17 drinks

It's not just you, I also like reading these for the first time again in the morning

Sometimes I digress and think about other things like that time I hijacked the high rise window washing platform off 6th street after Nick & I met those girls down at Maggie Mays who kept buying us shots even though I was already on my pain killers from my hernia operation earlier that day that I got from playing water volleyball at that girl's apartment complex that was right off the Far North UT bus line...errr...nevermind...

Spell check, smell check

I type better naked. Wait...that's at work

Letterman likes to hear me pecking away at keyboard

Letterman is a talk show guy not Vanna White's coach

I'm not sure where I was going with this post, so Merry Christmas all.

Pick-Up Smakk
Some of my favorites bunny pick-up lines below. I fully expect every member of the Rontourage to use them all this weekend.

Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
Do you want to see something swell?
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
(Put on a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Mama!
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic...only 200 woman went down on the Titanic.
(For ugly/fat bunny) So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade

And the all-time Smakk favorite:
Rose are red
Violets are blue
I like spaghetti
Let's go fuck!

If you've got any better - blow them up in my comments.

Political Smakk
Mayor Smakk has such a nice ring to it.....