Nothing Smakk
I have nothing to talk about today because I have been sober all fucking day. What kind of bullshit is that? Oh yeah - I did see Batman Begins last night. Kicked ass. Best superhero movie ever. After that hit Firewater for some shitty band and then The Wild Turkey to make fun of the inbreds. Holy shit (damn I fucking cuss a lot when I'm sober), it's almost 5pm on a Friday and I HAVE NOT HAD A DRINK YET. I hate when my balance is steady and vision clear. Need to fix this right away. Off to Champps...

Powerless Smakk
Nothing like being in a hotel casino when the power (and air conditioning) go out for 4 hours. Talk about a bunch of panicked security guards. So yes, the Hollywood lost most of its power last night during my visit. I was still able to at least win $1500 at the tables but all the restaurants and the concert venue were closed. Ended up sitting at the bar with Red and the Drifters sipping on Vodka/Sodas before all the ice ran out. Trying to think of what other places would be fun during a power outage. Packed concert arena, hospital operating room, school for the blind…err…nevermind on that one.

Drifter Smakk
So Fiery Red tags along with me on my short trip to Shreveport today for a little blackjack. I drop her off at the Hollywood this morning so she can go mingle in the bar while I’m slaving away for the man at work. I head back over at lunch to check-in so she can have a base camp until I’m done for the day and ready to party. As I pull back up to hotel, there’s Red shooting the shit outside with an older group of black gentlemen. Of course, it’s the Drifters. Yes, the original “This Magic Moment” Drifters. They have already told her they’ll dedicate a song to her tonight at their show. Only with this girl does this happen. I can so tell it’s going to be one of those nights. Oh – and the Malibu Suite at Hollywood is da bomb. Highly, highly recommend for you fellow players that roll like that.
Top five drifter movies:
5. The Postman
4. The Hitcher
3. First Blood
2. The Postman Always Rings Twice
1. Any Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Western

Practical Smakk
It appears the practical joke season has started in Smakk Town. Had a couple small attacks on me recently. First one was some one signing me up to some girl band fan club, Pussycats or something. Then just yesterday, I received my apparent first issue of the gay magazine Scene in the mail under my name. (That was actually a pretty good joke.) So I’m just giving my fair warning to all out there that the prank war has begun and this will probably be a long one. I’ll be sure to keep a blow-by-blow update posted for everyone. Of course any creative suggestions would be appreciated.
Anyway – gotta get ready to hit blackjack tables again tonight. Yes, I love all my addictions.

Frozen Smakk
Once again I feel it is my duty to further encourage the world to end this madness called Sobriety. This disease needs to be eliminated once and for all. Just think of what a better world it would be if we all remained in a constant state of intoxication. I know some would argue that the “quality” of products or events could suffer if created in a drunken stupor, but if as consumers or participants we are also wasted, then we would not really care. Here’s a small case study for your review:
Last night, I hit the annual Summer Bash at Fox & Hound in Lewisville. We had a nice little party of 10, Miller and Coors Light Girls, block ice Tequila shots, buckets of Corona, etc. So a typical calm little Monday evening. Then as the drinks start flowing a little more, The Big Wu and Loops decide it’s time to have a little endurance contest. So of course, they proceed to each put a hand in the freezing bucket of ice water chilling our Coronas. After 20 minutes and no sign of weakness from either, we decide a 2nd bucket for the other hand is also called for. Another 15 minutes pass and still no winner – both contestants seem to be willing to be called Stubbs in the near future after the frostbite kicks in. So what to do at this impasse? Easy - we proceed to get another couple of buckets for each to place their foot in. Another 15 minutes pass and it’s decided to end the contest with a race on their new block of ice that was once their foot. (We could have easily watched for longer but drunken hunger pains were attacking the bunnies at the table.) So after a controversial race with a false start by loops, it was decided a draw was in order.
So basically, the point of this recap was to further show the entertainment value of those ideas created, executed and observed by the intoxicated. Live it, love it, drink it!

Top five frozen films:
5. Alive
4. The Thing
3. Titanic
2. The Day After Tomorrow
1. The Ice Storm

Warm Up Smakk
So we decide to a little Shreveport trip on Saturday as a warm up to our impending July 4th bash in Vegas. So the Rontourage for this trip consists of me, Nicki, Big D, Loops, Gwedo and The Impregnator. The first beer starts flowing around 11am and here are some of the things I remember after that:
50 buffalo wings as an appetizer
Larry Flint’s Hustler Club (twice)
$13,000 in black chips at 5:30am
One broken mattress
Monster and beer everywhere
35 Vodka/Sodas (yesterday was a long recovery day)
My head crashing into ceiling (that’s why the mattress in broken)
Splitting Aces 4 times at $1000 a hand
And for a grand finale - one of the Rontourage being sent to the Bossier City jail for dragging a 5-foot tall fish statue down the boardwalk. Classic!!

To think this was only the warm up. Vegas will be scary. Anyway – so long, and thanks for all the fish.

Top five prison break movies:
5. Stir Crazy
4. Escape from Alcatraz
3. Papillon
2. The Great Escape
1. The Shawshank Redemption