Doublewide Smakk
Hit the Double Wide in downtown Dallas last night. Highly recommend. Nothing like getting your buzz on while watching tv's showing tornados wiping out trailer parks. And a quite lovely crowd to boot. I think one girl actually had all her teeth. Short post for now. Working today - I know it's a surprise for you all. As for me...
Top five films with tornados:
5. From Dusk Till dawn (Titty Twister Bar)
4. Night of the Twisters
3. Day After Tomorrow
2. The Wizard of Oz
1. Twister

Bud E Smakk
Finally an idea that makes sense, a Beer Energy Drink. "Budweiser Extra - a beer with caffeine, ginseng and guarana extract and natural flavor." I have not yet tried this ingenious product but I have heard that the10oz Bud E can has the same alcohol as a regular 12oz lite beer plus caffeine of a 12oz cup of coffee. Obvious a great idea to give us that an extra kick to stay awake for those long days and nights of consumption (though I always enjoy my nap time on the way home at the end of the night…well, except when I’m driving). I plan on having a very comprehensive test of this product during the Greenville Ave St. Patty’s Day Parade since I plan to start my consumption around 8am.
Also, what a great product to help stay in shape. Maybe now at the end of the night instead of passing out in my short stack at IHOP, I will be all juiced up to hit 24HR Fitness for a nice run. Though drunken treadmill may be a little dangerous. Hopefully they won’t pass a new law for WOWI - Working Out While Intoxicated. Anyway, I salute the fine people at Bud for this concept and look forward to being drunk around you all much later in the early morning.
Top five buddy films (get it Bud E = buddy…yes, my wit even impresses myself):
5. Bad Boys
4. Thelma & Louise
3. Midnight Run
2. Lethal Weapon
1. 48 Hours

Crawfish Smakk
So tonight, I had me a little boiled crawfish down off Greenville Ave. While I was ripping the little suckers apart and sucking their heads (kinda reminds me of an old girlfriend, though she was sucking...you get the picture), I got to feeling a little sorry for the little guys. I mean think about the life of a crawfish. You grow up squirming around in the mud in the most backward ass, hot and humid hell-hole of a state in the nation until some coonass Bubba and his sister and wife (same person) scoops you up so that you can be dropped in a vat of boiling water (though pleasantly seasoned with Old Bay) to be cooked alive before your ass is ripped from your head just so some metrosexual yuppie scum (yours truly) can snack on that big .0001 oz of meat. It's just brutal. But damn - those little fuckers do taste yummy. Plus I like to pretend they're really lobsters and I'm just a giant.
Top five cajun movies:
5. Blaze
4. No Mercy
3. The Big Easy
2. A Streetcar Named Desire
1. The Waterboy

Bad Joke Smakk

http://mm.dfilm.com/mm2s/mm_route.php?id=2281970

Top five movies to pack your bong to:
5. Reefer Madness
4. Half Baked
3. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
2. Dazed & Confused
1. Up in Smoke

Teen Advice Smakk
Oh yeah - do a yahoo search on the phrase "how to talk to teenagers about first breakup". I highly recommend listing number #4 if you have this problem.

Weekend Update Smakk
Friday Night - Saw "The Chinaman" at Hyena's with White Gurl & Fat Fellow. Great show! Highly smakk recommended.

Saturday night - Won $4000 in Shreveport. Still living up to tagline, "All I do is make money." Hung out till 4am with a new potential. I'll let you know about that one in a few days.

Tonight - Oscar get together at White Gurl's new place. For the record, my predictions on academy awards as follow:

Best Pic - Million Dollar Baby
Director - Clint "Dirty Harry" Eastwood
Actor - Jamie Foxx
Actress - Hilary Swank
Sup Actor - Morgan Freeman
Sup Actress - Cate Blanchett
Foreign Film - The Sea Inside
Org Screenplay - The Aviator
Adapt Screenplay - Sideways
Animated - The Incredibles
Documentary - Super Size Me

Top five movies that were Best Picture winners in past 20 years:
5. Rain Man
4. Shakespeare in Love
3. Schindler's List
2. Silence of the Lambs
1. Forrest Gump

Worst 5 Best Pic winners in past 20 years:
5. The English Patient
4. Out of Africa
3. Dances With Wolves
2. Chicago
1. Titantic