Home Smakk
Club 1407
Dallas, TX
Drunk chair handstands and pot rack hanging included! Exclusive Invitation Only. Doors Never Lock. Pizza Rolls always burning. Naked bunny provided on couch. Taco Bell optional.

Home Sweet Home

Late Comeback Smakk
I fucking hate when I think of a good smartass comment to reply back to someone way after the situation has past. While walking Carrot this morning, I thought about the rugby guy saying, "Hey buddy. Turd Up your dog." (Oh, Turd Up is now one of my favorite sayings.) I should have immediately replied, "Sorry man. Shit happens."
So now I have to over feed carrot and walk him in every crowded park in the city just to wait for some one to Turd Up me so I can have my witty reply in hand. So nice to have hobbies....

Need Head Smakk
Now I'm sure you thought this post was going somewhere else based on that title, but I'm actually looking for where I can find a realistic looking fake head from a mannequin or something. Just think it would be useful in scaring the crap out of my bunny or other crewmembers that come over. Just have it sitting in random places when they open a door to the fridge or cabinet. Or even better, I want to put the head down in the toilet so when someone lifts the lid, it’s just staring back up at you. Yes, these are the things I think about on the drive to work in the morning. Oh, and the blow job would be nice also.

TV Show Smakk
Here’s about the only shows I’m watching on TV with a regular basis anymore. My viewing preference in order:
5. Vegas - Pour yourself a glass of wine to go with all this cheese. And this show is loaded with bunnies.
4. Real World - Actually pretty weak season. But I’m still waiting for my cameo. I knew I should have banged Johanna to get some airtime.
3. Degrassi - Canadian teen angst dealing with shit that would make a woman with a wooden leg and a kickstand blush. Yes, it goes there
2. How I Met Your Mother - Great characters, great dialogue, and NPH is the man! Look at me, look at me.
1. Laguna Beach - I could watch Kristin, Jessica & LC all damn day. And it’s nice to see my protégé, Jason, getting plenty of play with the bunnies.

Is there anything else worth a damn on? Let me know.

Dog Park Smakk
Yesterday was another test to see if I can act like a normal dog yet. I guess I passed. They took me to the dog park. We stood outside the small dog gate and the large dog gate for a few minutes while they tried to decide which one I would behave better in. They decided that I'm a large dog which made me happy. I puffed out my chest and walked in proudly. Once I got in the gate though I became nervous. What was going on? Were they going to dump me here with all these other dogs? Oh hey, hi, ok sniff my butt. Now I'll sniff yours. Nice to meet you. We walk a few more feet and there is some more butt sniffing. I realize then that my neck feels free of a leash. Now I'm really getting nervous. What is going on? They sit down on a bench and I hang out with them. How long are we going to sit here? Should I just go sniff some butts and the ground a few thousand times? I slowly venture off on my own. Wait, where did they go? I panic until I find them again and realize they are only 3 feet from me. I continue doing my own thing. I walked by a guy sitting in a chair and lifted my leg to mark my territory. Yes, I needed to mark my territory on his chair. That wasn't enough though. Then I started kicking up dirt all over the place like a cat covering up its business. The guys chair was covered in dirt. I lost my owner again. I found him and bunny laughing hysterically. I'm not sure what they found so funny. The guy with the dirt covered chair wasn't laughing. The rest of the time I peed on another chair,ran around sniffing other dog and running in circles. I hate to admit it but I had a good time. I think I'm almost a normal dog now....as soon as I get over my fear of this thing called a ball.