Old School Smakk
I’ve decided to go old school tonight and leave the Uptown area to visit Sherlock’s in Arlington with Joe Bagofdonuts and The Impreginator. Since this will probably mark my 282nd visit there, I can go ahead and tell you how the night will progress:
1. Arrive at bar around 7:30pm a good two hours before anyone else
2. Grab table in center of main room
3. Waitress introduces herself, Christi, to table
4. I’ll order beer, Impreg will order beer, Joe will order 16 breasts of chicken & water
5. Look at watch and ask each other why are we here so early
6. I’ll order beer, Impreg order beer, Joe will ask for more ketchup to drown chicken
7. Manager will stop by and welcome us back
8. I’ll order beer, Impreg will order beer, Joe will search for unfinished food from other tables
9. One more table of people enter bar
10. I’ll order vodka soda, Impreg will raise eyebrow, Joe will order Crown & Diet
11. Look at watch – 8:15pm
12 – 23. I’ll order 11 vodka sodas. Waitress name will change to Stacy
24. Band will start playing
25. Every table fills up. More girls will become cuter
26. Band will start playing “She Fucking Hates Me.”
27. Manager will tell me to stop dancing on table
28. Joe will talk to cute girl at next table for two hours
29. Impreg will have his tongue down throat of someone from his office . Hopefully a girl
30. I will go to restroom for 13th time
31. I will start making out with girl that looks familiar for some reason
32. Joe will walk around corner screaming “CockBlocker” at me
33. I will recognize it’s girl from next table
34. Joe will begin to walk home, change mind, start talking to new girl at next table
35. Impreg will start singing Steelers fight song to a table because one guy mentioned he’s heard of the state of Pennsylvania
37. Stacy will say she cutting me off, again, then bring another vodka soda
38. I will go to bathroom for 14th time
39. I will start making out with different girl that looks familiar for some reason
40. Joe will walk around corner screaming “CockBlocker” at me
41. I will recognize it’s new girl from next table
42. I will begin talking in sign language
43. Lights in Sherlocks will turn on
44. I will wake up on couch asking “Did they have a band last night?”
45. Time to start drinking
Top five comedies about a drunk:
5. Leaving Las Vegas (was I the only one that found that funny)
4. Fandango (one guy was passed out for the whole movie)
3. Billy Madison
2. Arthur
1. Harvey
I’ve decided to go old school tonight and leave the Uptown area to visit Sherlock’s in Arlington with Joe Bagofdonuts and The Impreginator. Since this will probably mark my 282nd visit there, I can go ahead and tell you how the night will progress:
1. Arrive at bar around 7:30pm a good two hours before anyone else
2. Grab table in center of main room
3. Waitress introduces herself, Christi, to table
4. I’ll order beer, Impreg will order beer, Joe will order 16 breasts of chicken & water
5. Look at watch and ask each other why are we here so early
6. I’ll order beer, Impreg order beer, Joe will ask for more ketchup to drown chicken
7. Manager will stop by and welcome us back
8. I’ll order beer, Impreg will order beer, Joe will search for unfinished food from other tables
9. One more table of people enter bar
10. I’ll order vodka soda, Impreg will raise eyebrow, Joe will order Crown & Diet
11. Look at watch – 8:15pm
12 – 23. I’ll order 11 vodka sodas. Waitress name will change to Stacy
24. Band will start playing
25. Every table fills up. More girls will become cuter
26. Band will start playing “She Fucking Hates Me.”
27. Manager will tell me to stop dancing on table
28. Joe will talk to cute girl at next table for two hours
29. Impreg will have his tongue down throat of someone from his office . Hopefully a girl
30. I will go to restroom for 13th time
31. I will start making out with girl that looks familiar for some reason
32. Joe will walk around corner screaming “CockBlocker” at me
33. I will recognize it’s girl from next table
34. Joe will begin to walk home, change mind, start talking to new girl at next table
35. Impreg will start singing Steelers fight song to a table because one guy mentioned he’s heard of the state of Pennsylvania
37. Stacy will say she cutting me off, again, then bring another vodka soda
38. I will go to bathroom for 14th time
39. I will start making out with different girl that looks familiar for some reason
40. Joe will walk around corner screaming “CockBlocker” at me
41. I will recognize it’s new girl from next table
42. I will begin talking in sign language
43. Lights in Sherlocks will turn on
44. I will wake up on couch asking “Did they have a band last night?”
45. Time to start drinking
Top five comedies about a drunk:
5. Leaving Las Vegas (was I the only one that found that funny)
4. Fandango (one guy was passed out for the whole movie)
3. Billy Madison
2. Arthur
1. Harvey
posted by CaptSmakk @ 4:03 PM
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