Kentucky Fried Smakk
First off – thank you to one of the Friends of Smakk, Matt, for bringing this issue to my attention. Making sure to jump all over the most dire of problems facing the world today, Rev Al Sharpton has teamed with PETA to call upon the black community to boycott KFC for cruelty to chickens. To quote Big Al, “I’m calling on people to boycott KFC until they adopt animal welfare systems recommended by PETA and until they stop the worst abuses of the birds they raise for their restaurants.” Others have also joined this great cause including Russel Simmons, Paul McCartney, Pam Anderson and the Dalai Lama. (Now that would be a party to go to!)
This may be the most ridiculous cause I heard since that time I said I would give up drinking for three days straight. Al is worried about how the chickens are treated before we deep fry and eat them? At least we kill them first. What about the poor crabs and lobsters? They’re cooked alive. (Though Joe Bagofdonuts told me that some crabs you can’t drown…hmmm.) Or oysters? They don’t even get cooked at all before eaten. Why is their no love for the poor shellfish of the world?
I say fuck Al, fuck PETA, fuck Pam Anderson (uh duh), fuck the Dalai Lama (that lightning bolt is going to sting), fuck that cute bartender named April that works at Swamp Daddy’s in Arlington (sorry, I digress).
Top five movies with chickens:
5. Far and Away
4. Stroker Ace
3. Chicken Run
2. Little Nicky (Popeye’s Chicken)
1. Babe
It’s taste just like chicken and is finger lickin’ good. Smells like fish though…