Phoned In Smakk

In the words of New Edition, “Mr. Telephone Man. There's something wrong with my line. When I dial my baby's number, I get a click everytime.” So here’s the story, I had new phone service hooked up last Friday. On Monday when I moved in, of course still no phone service. So I call SBC, though BSC (Bull Shit Corporation) would be a more appropriate name. So now Sparky, who speaks English as well as a Tibetan monk on a crack binge, informs me they can send out a tech to repair my lines for a service charge. Yes, they want to charge me for fixing my new phone service that was never hooked up. Honestly I find this to be brilliant. Think of all the opportunities:
- Charges for tune-ups on cars before you ever even test-drive them
- Cable company charging for additional rooms just in case you get another TV
- Phone company charging you for repairs before service ever works (wait that’s been done)
- Bars charging you a premium for the next day buzz and/or hangover
- Prostitutes charging for time they stood at the corner before you pick them up and take them to the Ecstasy Body Massage at Northwest Hwy and Harry Hines where all major credit cards accepted. (not that I would know of course)

Top five movies with the phone as a major element:
5. Cellular
4. Phone Booth
3. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (time machine was phone booth)
2. Scream
1. ET (“ET phone home”)

Show me the digits!!!!