Fat Tuesday Smakk
Unfortunately, I acted very unSmakk-like yesterday and did not go out for Fat Tuesday. I know many of you are probably fainting on your keyboards at reading this. There were no beads, no parades, no topless women, no drinks (well, there might have still been a few drinks and 1 or 2 topless women). Now many of you may feel that missing this night has weighed greatly on me today since there is not another auspicious holiday geared around the consumption of alcohol until St Patrick’s Day. In actuality, Fat Tuesday has more become a fear of mine do to the fact I usually end up having a whale beach in my bed after this night of drinking. Guess I take the Fat part a little too literally. But now in retrospect today – I feel that this injustice was not to me by going out last night, but to all those well rounded ladies looking for a Smakk Attack. So I have decided to try and make up for this omission by adding a few more days to honor this week:
Today - Portly Wednesday (not a big as Fat Tuesday but you still need a few before taking home)
Tomorrow – Thick Thigh Thursday (to honor those ladies that you have to help wedge your way in)
Friday – Full Body Friday (I swear she was just “big boned”)
Weekend – Wide Ass Weekend (think the JLo of drinking days – or at least what you think she looks like after 5 or 22 drinks)

Top five fat chick movies:
5. Super Size Me (more of a training film)
4. Hairspray
3. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?
2. Shallow Hal
1. Heathers (Martha Dumptruck)