The Real Carrot Smakk
It is day three of my captivity. So far the worst part has been when they keep coming over and petting me. That or the "puppy" talk. Please don't talk down to me. I am quite sure I'm much more intelligent than you. I have street smarts you'll never get. I don't think driving around in your BMW, shopping at Lucky, and dining at Breadwinners is exactly teaching you much about life. Though it does humor me that you are eating jalapeno cheese chicken wrapped in bacon meanwhile pushing my food bowl at me. I will eat, don't worry. I'm just waiting for the nausea of lingering pizza roll smell to pass. That crap smells worse than my dog food, if you call this food. I suppose he is returning from his trip today. My only relief is that he'll take me on a walk. Oh and the frustration on his face when I stand in front of the door the rest of the night wanting to go back out. My goal is too keep him so busy he doesn't get to watch his Tivo nonsense.
Top five possible escape routes.
5. Call vet I came from and claim abuse
4. Kill him and slip out when they come to inspect the smell
3. Fool him into thinking I can be let off my leash and run for it
2. Latch onto next bunny and beg to go home with her
1. Wait it out and see if situation improves
It is day three of my captivity. So far the worst part has been when they keep coming over and petting me. That or the "puppy" talk. Please don't talk down to me. I am quite sure I'm much more intelligent than you. I have street smarts you'll never get. I don't think driving around in your BMW, shopping at Lucky, and dining at Breadwinners is exactly teaching you much about life. Though it does humor me that you are eating jalapeno cheese chicken wrapped in bacon meanwhile pushing my food bowl at me. I will eat, don't worry. I'm just waiting for the nausea of lingering pizza roll smell to pass. That crap smells worse than my dog food, if you call this food. I suppose he is returning from his trip today. My only relief is that he'll take me on a walk. Oh and the frustration on his face when I stand in front of the door the rest of the night wanting to go back out. My goal is too keep him so busy he doesn't get to watch his Tivo nonsense.
Top five possible escape routes.
5. Call vet I came from and claim abuse
4. Kill him and slip out when they come to inspect the smell
3. Fool him into thinking I can be let off my leash and run for it
2. Latch onto next bunny and beg to go home with her
1. Wait it out and see if situation improves
posted by CaptSmakk @ 4:08 PM
1 Comments:
At 4:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
And the one above all, when he puts peanut butter on a carrot, not me, and tells me to lick it off, make a mad dash for the window and jump out to my death, but my sweet releif. Doesn't he know I hate chasing balls? The only ones I"ll lick are my own.
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