Dog Smakk
So for my one goodwill gesture of the year, I have decided to adopt a stray dog. Went and saw the little fellow at the vet this weekend and officially made the decision today that I was taking the mutt. He’s currently recovering from a leg wound and should be able to come to House of Smakk in the next couple of weeks. Kind of a dingo looking fellow. (The dingoes ate my baby!) Now I’m sure many of you are shocked that I am interested in actually caring for another living thing, so let me explain. Living in the bunny rich State Thomas Neighborhood, I need this little fellow to give me a reason to be walking around the block other than my daily stroll to the liquor store or happy hour at TABC. (Yes, I have a bar with one block of my house. Heaven on earth, I know). So that is also why I have decided to name this bunny magnet - Carrot.
Although I felt this was a surprisingly charitable (albeit uncharacteristic) act on my part, there is great debate among the Ron-tourage on whether or not I am responsible enough to handle taking care of something other than a full bottle of alcohol. So of course this calls for a new poll: How will Carrot die? Please see sidebar below.
Top five dog films:
5. Wag the Dog
4. Dog Soldiers
3. Mad Dog & Glory
2. My Life as a Dog
1. Dog Day Afternoon
So for my one goodwill gesture of the year, I have decided to adopt a stray dog. Went and saw the little fellow at the vet this weekend and officially made the decision today that I was taking the mutt. He’s currently recovering from a leg wound and should be able to come to House of Smakk in the next couple of weeks. Kind of a dingo looking fellow. (The dingoes ate my baby!) Now I’m sure many of you are shocked that I am interested in actually caring for another living thing, so let me explain. Living in the bunny rich State Thomas Neighborhood, I need this little fellow to give me a reason to be walking around the block other than my daily stroll to the liquor store or happy hour at TABC. (Yes, I have a bar with one block of my house. Heaven on earth, I know). So that is also why I have decided to name this bunny magnet - Carrot.
Although I felt this was a surprisingly charitable (albeit uncharacteristic) act on my part, there is great debate among the Ron-tourage on whether or not I am responsible enough to handle taking care of something other than a full bottle of alcohol. So of course this calls for a new poll: How will Carrot die? Please see sidebar below.
Top five dog films:
5. Wag the Dog
4. Dog Soldiers
3. Mad Dog & Glory
2. My Life as a Dog
1. Dog Day Afternoon
posted by CaptSmakk @ 1:57 PM
11 Comments:
At 2:21 PM,
Nicki said…
First of all, I wish you were not getting a dog at all. Second, I REALLY hope the dog ONLY dies from natural causes... otherwise, it was nice knowing you. (I have such love for animals!) Third, CARROT? Are you fucking kidding me??
At 3:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
Dude! I agree with the sentiment that you shouldn't be getting a dog. Yes, I understand that dog's need company (yes it is a low shot at you), but hang with the dog's you run with now. Give Carrot a fighting chance. I think the dog has a better shot surviving in the kennel.
You also forgot the movie Lady and the Tramp, in which you are the Tramp. Unless Carrot is a male dog, then you can be the Lady. Or whatever.
At 3:42 PM,
Gigi said…
Dogs do provide more ass from the ladies. I think you are doing the right thing for both parties.
At 4:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
I think it is a marvelous idea and allow me to point out the top 5 reasons why(ala capt smakk):
5.)Someone to let Ron in when he loses his keys.(Not that this ever happens)
4.)Another great excuse for missing a day or a half-day of work..."had to take the dog to the vet".
3.)Vacuum cleaner.
2.)Toilet cleaner.
1.)Another bitch for Ron to sleep with.
At 11:27 PM,
erl said…
way the dog sucks.
At 11:27 PM,
erl said…
fuck too many beers. i mean WAG the dog sucks. right.
At 7:43 AM,
Anonymous said…
I think you need a new choice in the dog death poll. Dog dies of old age in prison for killing his master after years of neglect and abuse.
At 11:15 AM,
Anonymous said…
I think that you also need to add that the dog dies from cirrhosis of the liver.
Who's going to drink the rest of your alcohol when you pass out? Carrot. Now it just goes flat.
And, just a thought. Since you have a death poll for a dog you haven't gotten yet, doesn't that raise a flag for authorities of some kind to intervene?
I would say PETA, but they aren't authorities. Just a useless waste of (insert word here).
At 12:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
Having a dog means:
1. No spending the night at anyones house. You will have to go home to let your dog out.
2. No more happy hours immediately after work. Its not healthy for a dog to have to hold it for 9+ hours. They will pee on your carpet if you make them hold it that long. You'll have to FIRST go home to take care of the dog and THEN go to the bar.
3. Weekend trips cost an extra $100 because you have to board the dog at a kennel.
Dogs are cool if you are willing to put in the time to take care of them. I didn't realize what a bitch it was and how much it would affect my social life.
At 3:46 PM,
CaptSmakk said…
Nicki - Carrot will rule
Po - those dawgs chase away the bunnies, carrot will bring them in
Gigi - you are obviously smart and sexy. throw in slutty and were a perfect match
Andre - true dat (except #1)
ERl - I agreee. Ran out of "Dog" titles
Big Rob - great point
Anon - many good points. let me respond in order:
1. makes the bunnies come to my place
2. I almost always go home before happy hour to ditch suit & get drinking attire
3. All I do is make money
At 9:27 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hi CaptSmakk I’ve been looking for gifts related blogs and I came across yours on this post during my trawl, so I thought it would be polite to let you know about my visit. You are most welcome to come and visit me at gifts. I would also be happy to trade links with you if you are interested. Bye for now and have a nice day! Roy.
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