Nemesis Smakk
I have decided I need to identify an arch nemesis for myself so that I can have someone to torment on a regular basis. Now this will obviously be a tough decision for me since there are no people that are close to my intellectual equal. So who would be a good target for my daily wrath? Of course I have the everyday little people like the police, anon commenters, current boyfriends/husbands of smakked hoes, every ex of mine, etc. It’s just that I torment these folks daily just with my normal activities, so I think someone special will be called for to endure my full smack attack.I considered Don Johnson because of our little run in at the Wynn in Vegas but picking on Sonny Crocket seems like too easy of a target. Obviously I automatically oppose any person that promotes sobriety, so there’s Len Blumenthal, Chairman of the General Service Board for AA or Wendy Hamilton, National President of MADD. But I feel my constant drunken activity throughout the US is already enough of a protest against their evil ways. How about our new Pope? With my constant fight against morality and such maybe he would be the right fit. How about my liver? With just so many choices, I am asking for your help. Who should be my arch nemesis?
I have decided I need to identify an arch nemesis for myself so that I can have someone to torment on a regular basis. Now this will obviously be a tough decision for me since there are no people that are close to my intellectual equal. So who would be a good target for my daily wrath? Of course I have the everyday little people like the police, anon commenters, current boyfriends/husbands of smakked hoes, every ex of mine, etc. It’s just that I torment these folks daily just with my normal activities, so I think someone special will be called for to endure my full smack attack.I considered Don Johnson because of our little run in at the Wynn in Vegas but picking on Sonny Crocket seems like too easy of a target. Obviously I automatically oppose any person that promotes sobriety, so there’s Len Blumenthal, Chairman of the General Service Board for AA or Wendy Hamilton, National President of MADD. But I feel my constant drunken activity throughout the US is already enough of a protest against their evil ways. How about our new Pope? With my constant fight against morality and such maybe he would be the right fit. How about my liver? With just so many choices, I am asking for your help. Who should be my arch nemesis?
posted by CaptSmakk @ 11:44 AM
9 Comments:
At 1:39 PM,
Anonymous said…
Well, if you were to pick on Sonny Crocket, who I like to call Cracker (especially when I say it very fast), then you'd have to mess with me. It's just how I roll. Other than that? I don't know.
At 2:02 PM,
Anonymous said…
How about Singlenbigd? Who I call Single Bird. Which, come to think of it, I have renamed Haggard, because that is probably what she is. Her full name is Wornout Anne Haggard.
Since you say that you have not met your intellectual equal, and she thinks she's intelligent, I'd like to see you battle wits with her. Even though it may be like you are doing it with 99% of your brain asleep.
At 3:08 PM,
erl said…
i pick the new pope because of course he is FUGLY and way too damn holy or whatever. plus i heard that he's a NAZI! that damn bastard.
At 3:42 PM,
Anonymous said…
Be sure you pick someone close to your age. Some anon posters had no idea they were dealing with someone nearly 40 until recently. That just makes everything that much more pathetic.
I have respect for my elders.
At 3:55 PM,
CaptSmakk said…
Tubbs - be careful or Don will sick the alligator on you
SBD - ok
Fat G - always a pleasure hearing from you
ERL - You may be right. Plus the pointy hat is always a good target.
Anon - Right, right. Just as I recently found out some anon posters are nearly five feet tall.
And I respect dwarves.
At 3:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
And it's comments like that that have made me realize you are a waste of my time. So check your IP addresses everyday, you won't find mine anymore.
The five feet tall thing is funny. But I remember one other time you made jokes like that and were quoted at saying that you "were better looking" than some of us too. That has been confirmed as bullshit. Out of state friends are the best. You my friend have been "smakked" and you don't even know it. Was just a REALLY good weekend. Take care.
At 7:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
Fat Guy...Stating your current condition is okay if you want to air out your short-comings. And despite of how proud you are of coming up with the commment, small dick syndrome at its finest, you still are not intelligent enough to come up with anything worthy of earning respect in your responses.
Language you use...signs of weakness in vocabulary. Statements you make...signs of weakness in formulating sentences. Phrases you try to express...signs that you are the village idiot.
So now I have renamed Fat Guy...Small Dick Syndrome.
Or SDS for short. I hear that its the new telethon.
SDS...you such a dumb ass! Slow-wit! Catch on! Pay attention!
Study Smakk's posts...or mine...and then you'll find out how to develop replies that will get some relative sign of respect. I'm pullin' for your fat ass. I really am. I want to see you get better so you don't disappoint. But with your small dick syndrome, it may be a cause not worth fighting.
At 10:21 AM,
Anonymous said…
Fat Bastard...At least I made you think somethings funny. But, you still don't get it. You still aren't catching on. And you still have the weakest of come backs. If you were smart enough to comprehend what I wrote. Never attacked you. Just your poor ability to make anything substantially intelligent when you write. You are the one attacking me where you think it would have an effect. But it doesn't. I'm laughing at it all. And I'm refering to respect in general. Respect of being able to say something intelligent.
You still are an idiot. You still don't understand what's going on. And you still have serious issues. If you paid attention to my responses SDS, you'd catch on.
Get a clue! And if you go back to all of the posts. You and Single Bird jumped me first.
Use it for good instead of evil? What is this Star Wars? You geek!
At 10:34 AM,
CaptSmakk said…
I love lamp.
And the twins...
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