Apology Smakk
Dear Captain Morgan,
I owe you my deepest and most sincere apology for not sailing with you for the last two nights. I know that this is the first time we have been apart for this long and I know that I made this decision without notice or warning to you. Though I have my own reasons for trying out this "sobriety" thing that I have heard about, please know that is was never you. You have been my most faithful friend for many, many years and this separation between us will not be forever. I will fondly think of you as I sip on this bottled foreign substance called "water", and reminisce of all those nights that I did not have such disgusting clarity of mind as tonight. I also greatly apologize to the stockholders of the Diageo company for the sudden decline on both the London Stock Exchange (DGE) and the New York Stock Exchange (DEO) due to the massive decline in sales over the past 2 days. So please know all, especially you my golden brown liquid heaven, that this not a goodbye but just a temporary break. I will embrace you again very soon and all will once again be right with the world.
Sincerely sober and not happy about it,
Smakk