Suicide Smakk
Gotta tell you, one of the weakest post-relationship ploys is the old suicide threat. I understand that suicide is a serious and sad issue when it comes to confused teens or truly emotionally distressed folks. But these lame ass exes that I hear about that throw out the line, “I’m going to kill myself if you leave me,” – I’m like more power to them. Can I offer you some suggestions of ways to do it? Hell, I would also be like, “Can you make sure I’m in the will first?” And probably the thing that is weaker about this ploy is those girls that actually fall for this, and go off running after the loser. What brought this about today is that this just happened with a girl that’s a friend of mine. So homeboy shows up spewing out how he has to be with her, can’t live without her, blah, blah, blah. Dude – you lived 30 years, had 2 kids and survived the ridicule of being only 3 feet tall. And this is going to make you eat a bullet. And way to be a great dad by the way. Sure your kids would love to hear how much they matter to you. What a joke!
If I get so messed up over some girl I get as fucked up as this guy, I’m not thinking suicide – I’m thinking let’s really get fucked up. I’m thinking let’s hop a plane to Vegas, max out all those credit cards, slam down some gallons of booze and live it up like some big ballers with no worries in the world. But hey, you have fun watching from above as your family and friends cry over over your sorry ass grave – I’ll be waving at you from the top of the Palms at the Ghost Bar. Late…
Top suicide movies:
5. Virgin Suicides
4. Ordinary People
3. Harold & Maude
2. The End
1. Heathers