Dead Calf Smakk

The title of my post is accurate so for those a little weak in the stomach you may want to pass on this one.
So a friend of mine, Dr. E, was telling a story about being at a farm this weekend. His father-in-law (whom we will refer to as TED - Tennis Elbow Dad) is a large animal vet and while at his place this weekend, TED was called to help with a cow having problems birthing the calf. So Dr. E & TED went to see the cow and here's his story:
So after getting the pregnant mamma cow into a stall using a shocking cattle prod, TED shoves his arm up in this pregnant living hamburger and announces, "This calf is dead."
"How can you tell?" asked Dr. E.
"Well he ain't moving and it stinks in there," replied TED.
"How does it usually smell in there?" asked Dr. E.
No response.
"Well, we're going to have to pull her out of there," proclaimed TED.
So yes - TED with his new helper pulled the dead calf from the mamma bovine and as Dr. E told me over lunch today (I had chicken by the way), "It came out and just went 'thud' on the ground."
So for any of you with kids that love animals and want to grow up to be a vet, this may be a lovely story to share over the campfire. And yes, the reason we refer to him as Tennis Elbow Dad is that he does suffer from tennis elbow from having his arm up cow and horse ass (and other places as above) all day. I can see a new stunt for Fear Factor in the making.
So, top five films on the farm:
5. The Milagro Beanfield War
4. Grapes of Wrath
3. Man in the Moon (not the Andy Kauffman one)
2. Babe
1. Giant

That will do, dead calf, that will do.

And one more thing - weak, weak, weak, weak, weak, weak twist ending for Joe Millionaire. Damn you Dr. E for making me watch it. Why don't you go stick your arm up a cow's...