Tiffany’s Bracelet Smakk
Friday – pick up girlfriend and give her Tiffany’s bracelet as a surprise. Arrive with her at happy hour and first couple of people I bump into were former drunken one-night stands. Try unsuccessfully to drink away the awkwardness of the situation with jager shots. End the night by dumping current girlfriend who immediately, yes, this same night, runs right back to her ex-boyfriend’s place for hook-up. (See Suicidal Smakk archives for reference. Classic).
Saturday – wake up about 7am in back seat of my car in some random office-building parking lot. Meet up with friends (including one of drunken one-night stand girls) around noon. Start drinking. Begin sending annoying text messages to dumped girlfriend for entertainment value including one asking back for the Tiffany’s bracelet. Unsuccessfully try to buy scalped tickets for Pat Green show. Get ride to Sherlocks in Addison. Take cab home. Take cab back out to Dukes in Addison. Find out the drunken one-night stand girl is only 20 when her fake ID is taken at door. Take cab back home.
Sunday – Drop boat keys off at marina to get boat ready for summer. (Yay!) Go over to dumped girlfriend’s apartment to pick up my garage door opener. She gives me back garage door opener and Tiffany’s bracelet since I mentioned in annoying text the day before. Go have lunch with former ex-girlfriend that was previous to recent dumped girlfriend. Yes, you know what is coming next. Give her the Tiffany’s bracelet.
Unfortunately the ending isn't as storybook as I wanted. Former ex does not actually keep Tiffany's bracelet since she knew it was bought for another girl. Yes, this one actually has class. So what to do with Tiffany's bracelet?? Give to randomVegas bunny? Hmmmm...I'm sure I'll have a story about it when I return. Speaking of - I’m about to leave to airport for drunken adventures in So Cal and Vegas this week. So there will be no more Smakk posts until my return next Saturday. I’m sure I will be missed. Out.
Top five Richard Gere films (his full name is Richard Tiffany Gere):
5. Breathless
4. Chicago
3. Pretty Woman
2. Primal Fear
1. Officer and a Gentleman
Friday – pick up girlfriend and give her Tiffany’s bracelet as a surprise. Arrive with her at happy hour and first couple of people I bump into were former drunken one-night stands. Try unsuccessfully to drink away the awkwardness of the situation with jager shots. End the night by dumping current girlfriend who immediately, yes, this same night, runs right back to her ex-boyfriend’s place for hook-up. (See Suicidal Smakk archives for reference. Classic).
Saturday – wake up about 7am in back seat of my car in some random office-building parking lot. Meet up with friends (including one of drunken one-night stand girls) around noon. Start drinking. Begin sending annoying text messages to dumped girlfriend for entertainment value including one asking back for the Tiffany’s bracelet. Unsuccessfully try to buy scalped tickets for Pat Green show. Get ride to Sherlocks in Addison. Take cab home. Take cab back out to Dukes in Addison. Find out the drunken one-night stand girl is only 20 when her fake ID is taken at door. Take cab back home.
Sunday – Drop boat keys off at marina to get boat ready for summer. (Yay!) Go over to dumped girlfriend’s apartment to pick up my garage door opener. She gives me back garage door opener and Tiffany’s bracelet since I mentioned in annoying text the day before. Go have lunch with former ex-girlfriend that was previous to recent dumped girlfriend. Yes, you know what is coming next. Give her the Tiffany’s bracelet.
Unfortunately the ending isn't as storybook as I wanted. Former ex does not actually keep Tiffany's bracelet since she knew it was bought for another girl. Yes, this one actually has class. So what to do with Tiffany's bracelet?? Give to randomVegas bunny? Hmmmm...I'm sure I'll have a story about it when I return. Speaking of - I’m about to leave to airport for drunken adventures in So Cal and Vegas this week. So there will be no more Smakk posts until my return next Saturday. I’m sure I will be missed. Out.
Top five Richard Gere films (his full name is Richard Tiffany Gere):
5. Breathless
4. Chicago
3. Pretty Woman
2. Primal Fear
1. Officer and a Gentleman
posted by CaptSmakk @ 2:19 PM
13 Comments:
At 2:26 PM,
Anonymous said…
There will be no posts regarding vegas...thank you.
At 12:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
Steve Wariner said it best "some fools will never learn"
At 1:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
blah blah blah
At 1:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
Wonder who "blah blah blah" was. Only one person I know that says that.
And some guys are just fucking idiots.
At 3:58 PM,
Anonymous said…
I was on a business trip this past week and she, the two ex's, and the new boyfriend came up and we learned she had been out to eat with the "suicidal smakk" just last week. How far is this girl gonna go while hurting others? Does she ever stop cheating?
At 10:51 PM,
CaptSmakk said…
anon 12:52 - it's all about game anyway
lindsey - smart, stylish, beautiful, drunk. yes I think you would be me
anon 1:01 - your vocabulary is impressive
anon 1:10 - actually know a few blah, blah, blah-ers
anon 3:58 - don't know, don't care. and all I could say to that anyway would be "Hi kettle. I'm pot."
At 2:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
Sounds to me like the VD bug is gonna catch up with her super quick.
At 5:14 PM,
Anonymous said…
Sounds to me like somebody has a jealous "bug" stuck in their ass cuz they can't GET any "super" dick...don't hate the player, hate the game
At 2:11 PM,
Anonymous said…
Not sure I want any "super" dick. But I sure know how to give it out.
At 9:17 PM,
Anonymous said…
Well it doesn't sound like you are too upset about this recent break up but we couldn't believe she even had the nerve to come and talk to some of us at the Pat Green tailgating thing. I do not think she realizes just how many people do not like her. Then she was telling people that her and Brian were back together and everyone acted happy then talked mad shit when she left. What the heck is Brian thinking? I do not feel sorry for him anymore. He asks for it and she takes advantage.
At 8:25 AM,
CaptSmakk said…
they are PERFECT for each other
At 3:37 PM,
Anonymous said…
It was quite a sight when she first walked up to everybody. I saw three other girls duck away with their cellphones and everyone knew who they were calling. Calling to get permission to bitch her out.
At 4:06 PM,
CaptSmakk said…
Funny stuff. Don't think I'm allowed at any Pat Green shows per my latest post.
I actually hope those guys work it out and stay together forever. Think that's best for all.
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