Tard Smakk
Why am I a magnet for Tards? Here's the story - The Bunny & I head down to Lake Ray Hubbard on Saturday and decide to check out my old high school stomping grounds in Rockwall. We head over to Joe Willy's to get a burger and some fried mushrooms for lunch. After we finish our grub, the Bunny has to hit the ladies room. As soon as she walks away from the table, around the corner comes little Mr. Special Needs and he sits down at the table beside ours. I immediately start looking at my phone, concentrating on my drink, scanning the crowd for the Bunny, basically anything to avoid eye contact. No more than 10 seconds pass and out of the corner of my eye I can see him waddling over to me. He stumbles over right beside me and starts pointing out every picture on the wall behind me and asking me the people are in each one.
Tard - "Who dey in dis pithure?"
Smakk - "I don't know."
Tard - "Who dey in dis pithure ere?"
Smakk - Uhh, I don't know."
Tard - "Who dey in dis pithure ere?"
Smakk - "Still don't know."
This goes on for at least a dozen more photos. Of course this whole time he is using one hand to point at each picture while the other is securely buried in his shorts working his nuts like a lotto scratch off. He finally pulls his hand out when he sees a picture of cheerleaders so he can use both hands to show me his YellowJacket cheer and clapping routine. "Y-E-L-L-O..."
So after a good 5 minutes of Tard cheer, Slingblade sees some pics on the wall across the room and waddles off over there. Just as he leaves, the Bunny comes back to the table and says, "Sorry it took so long. There was only one bathroom and someone was in it. Did I miss anything?"
Why am I a magnet for Tards? Here's the story - The Bunny & I head down to Lake Ray Hubbard on Saturday and decide to check out my old high school stomping grounds in Rockwall. We head over to Joe Willy's to get a burger and some fried mushrooms for lunch. After we finish our grub, the Bunny has to hit the ladies room. As soon as she walks away from the table, around the corner comes little Mr. Special Needs and he sits down at the table beside ours. I immediately start looking at my phone, concentrating on my drink, scanning the crowd for the Bunny, basically anything to avoid eye contact. No more than 10 seconds pass and out of the corner of my eye I can see him waddling over to me. He stumbles over right beside me and starts pointing out every picture on the wall behind me and asking me the people are in each one.
Tard - "Who dey in dis pithure?"
Smakk - "I don't know."
Tard - "Who dey in dis pithure ere?"
Smakk - Uhh, I don't know."
Tard - "Who dey in dis pithure ere?"
Smakk - "Still don't know."
This goes on for at least a dozen more photos. Of course this whole time he is using one hand to point at each picture while the other is securely buried in his shorts working his nuts like a lotto scratch off. He finally pulls his hand out when he sees a picture of cheerleaders so he can use both hands to show me his YellowJacket cheer and clapping routine. "Y-E-L-L-O..."
So after a good 5 minutes of Tard cheer, Slingblade sees some pics on the wall across the room and waddles off over there. Just as he leaves, the Bunny comes back to the table and says, "Sorry it took so long. There was only one bathroom and someone was in it. Did I miss anything?"
posted by CaptSmakk @ 8:17 AM
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